A guide for parents and carers Social media

Talk to your child about your own experience of the online world. Show them sites and apps that you like, and explain why you like them. Show them how to use the internet in a positive way – to research things, to do homework, to talk to family, and to find out about the world. This helps them to have a critical eye.

You can also talk about your own less positive experiences online. If you feel pressured by the ‘perfect’ photos people share on social media, then being open with your child about this can be a good thing. It might help them understand that the ‘perfect’ pictures people share on social media don't always show reality. Encourage them to talk to you if they’re struggling with this. 

Remember, children look to their parents as role models. For example, if you check your phone constantly at mealtimes, or play violent games in front of your children, then it’s likely your child might do the same.

It can be easy to feel that you don’t understand the latest technology, apps or social media that your child is using. But don’t use this as an excuse not to get involved.

Ask your child to teach you and show you there about their favourite apps, games or websites. This will help you understand how they work so that you can talk about the positives and whether you have any concerns. A quick Google search can also tell you a lot.

If you think anything your child is accessing is not appropriate for their age, be ready to explain why you think this. Wherever possible, make it a joint decision with your child, so they understand the reasons not to use something and will stick to it.

Research suggests that most children are actually more cautious than adults online, and that most are good at navigating the internet safely. Often when they do come across upsetting content, it’s not because they’ve gone looking for it, but because they’ve found it by accident, or because someone’s sent it to them.

It is a good idea to reassure your child that they can always talk to you.  

• Ask them if they’ve seen anything online that they are not comfortable with. (They might have seen things like nasty comments, sexual content or violent images.)
• Tell them that you won’t overreact if they tell you about something they’ve seen, that you’d much rather that they talked to you, instead of keeping it to themselves. 
• If they are upset or worried about something they've seen, talk about how they feel, and how they can avoid seeing them again in future.
• If necessary, help them to report or block content they find disturbing.
• Whatever happens, stay calm if you find they’ve come across something you don’t approve of.

Help your child to understand what’s meant by personal information, so they can develop an awareness of why it’s significant and why they should be cautious about sharing pictures of themselves or information online.

Some things for your child to know:

• What you put online stays online. Even things you delete can be saved or screenshotted – including those Snapchats meant for just one friend.
• Online strangers are still strangers. Forums and group chats can be a great way to connect over things you wouldn’t say face to face, but don’t feel pressured to share more than you feel comfortable with.
• It’s easy to over-share on social media, especially if you forget who can see your profile. 
• Privacy is possible. You can change your settings to make your account private so that only people you know and trust can see your updates.
• Don’t hesitate to block anyone who makes you feel uncomfortable and talk to someone you trust about it if this happens.

Although most social media platforms are officially 13+, most children sign up to at least one when they’re much younger. It's better that you encourage them to be open with you, rather than thinking they need to keep it a secret from you. And be aware that if they accept your follow/friend request on a social media account, it’s very possible they have another one that they’re not sharing with you.

• Remind your child that every social media platform has privacy settings, and show them how to use them.
• Talk to your child about the sort of information they want to keep private.
• Make sure your child understands how to report or block things that aren’t appropriate.
• Help your child to understand that they shouldn’t feel the need to be available all the time on social media. It’s okay to take a break, and you don’t need to take part in every conversation.