Matthew's story
My brother never told anyone how he was feeling. He was my best friend and when he died my whole world fell apart and I could not see how life would be without him.Everyday was black and sad. He was only 19 he wasn't old, just a young man. Life has changed so much and I miss him so much everyday. We didnt have any idea how he was feeling so I think it made things harder. He was always there for me for anything. We did have an age gap but that didn't matter. He was my hero, he watched me at my football and was always there.
It is so hard to say how it has affected me as it has made my life different, as I don't know how my life would have been, but my whole family are different from what they were before. It is so hard to explain but it is there all the time.
As part of the impact I developed OCD which I did not realise was linked to Dan's death but the doctor told me it was probably brought on by the trauma. We were not given any support from the professionals as there was nothing there so it was so hard. My OCD began to interfere with my footy which really is important to me. So I went to the doctor and he sent me to see someone. Unfortunately they cancelled appointments continually so I just have to try and control myself. It does seem to have improved by itself, so that is better for me. I was told it is probably linked to stress.