Abuse help

It can be really hard to tell someone but there are lots of people who can help if you or a friend is being abused in any way.

You have to tell someone about the abuse if you want it to stop. What is happening is wrong and it is not your fault, although the abuser may have told you that it is your fault to try and stop you from telling anybody. No one should be made to feel that way and you need to tell someone as soon as you can.

There are three main reasons why you need to tell someone:-

1)      For the abuse to stop

2)      So you can start to get over what has happened to you and start to live a normal life again

3)      To protect other children and young people. If the person who is abusing you thinks they can get away with it, they may do it to someone else.

It is really difficult for anyone to talk about abuse. It might help you to write down what you want to say when you decide who you are going to talk to. You might find it easier to talk to a parent or sibling or it might be easier, if the abuser is in your family, to talk to somebody outside of the family. Try and pick someone who you feel comfortable with and who you think you can trust.

You might want to talk to:-

-          Parents
-          Grandparents
-          Brother or sister
-          Auntie or other relative
-          Friend
-          Parents’ friend
-          Teacher
-          Counsellor
-          School nurse
-          Doctor
-          Youth worker
-          Mentor

If you don’t feel like you can talk to someone you know, there are helplines and other professionals that you can talk to. Call Childline on 0800 1111 or visit their website. If you are being abused and you are in immediate danger, call 999.

What happens after you have told someone about the abuse (or disclosed the abuse) will vary depending on your circumstances. The person who you tell is likely to try and get you help by telling your parents or social services. It is likely that there will be an investigation to find out what has happened and if it has happened to anybody else. 

If you are being neglected or abused in your home then social services may become involved to make sure that you are safe. You may feel a great sense of relief once you have told someone but you may still have difficult times after the initial disclosure and it is important to talk about how you are feeling.

If you have experienced abuse for a long time, you may have developed other problems because of the abuse such as an eating disorder or self-harm. We have other pages on these problems which will point you in the right direction to get help but you can always visit your GP in confidence to talk things through.

If the GP thinks you need more help or support they can arrange it for you. They may refer you to a child and adolescent mental health service (CAMHS) where they have professionals who specialise in the problems you may have as a result of the abuse and will be able to identify the right treatment or therapy for you. Sometimes it helps to talk about what has happened with a therapist.

There is more information on abuse in the next section.

When I got through to ChildLine it took a bit of time for me to say anything. They didn’t hang up though. Anyway, what was really good was they couldn’t see my face so they wouldn’t know me if they saw me in the street. They were really patient and helped me say what I wanted in my own time, and helped me decide what to do next. When Social Services and the police got involved they were still there for me when it felt like no-one else was."