What to do when you're angry

If you are feeling angry at a lot of the time there are things you can do to help yourself and other people might be able to help too.

Firstly talk to someone about how you are feeling. You might want to talk to:-

  • Parent/carer
  • Grandparents
  • Other relatives like auntie or cousin
  • Friends
  • Parents' friend
  • A teacher who you respect and trust
  • Social worker
  • Youth worker
  • Connexions adviser
  • Mentor
  • School counsellor
  • School nurse

If you feel able to, you should go and talk to your doctor. They may be able to suggest some treatment or they may recommend that you talk to a counsellor.

Counselling

Your doctor may refer you to your child and adolescent mental health service where you would meet a specialist who would talk to you about how you are feeling and your behaviour. They would recommend the best way to deal with any feelings you have or they might suggest you speak to a counsellor if you have any problems or things that have happened in the past that might be causing you to feel angry.

If they decided that counselling was the best option for you, the specialist would arrange for you to have a number of one-to-one meetings with a counsellor or therapist where you can talk about any concerns or problems that you might have. They would try and help you with any difficulties you might have and try and give you new skills to help you deal with the anger better in future.

These services are confidential and so your friends don’t need to know about the counselling sessions if you didn’t want them to. It is likely you would have weekly sessions with your therapist or counsellor and each meeting would probably be an hour until the counsellor felt that that you were doing well and didn’t need to see them anymore.

Relaxation

In time you may learn to deal with the anger better yourself and there are things you can do to help yourself relax if you are feelig stressed or angry.

  • Go for a walk
  • Listen to music
  • Take deep breaths
  • Take some exercise
  • Do something you enjoy, skateboarding, painting, surfing
  • Talk to someone about how you are feeling
  • Play computer games to take your mind off it
  • Read a book
  • Have a nice hot bath.

If you have a problem with someone, try and be calm and talk to them rather than dealing with the problem aggressively. Think about what you want to talk to them about beforehand and how you want to get your point across. Talk to the person and make sure you listen to their point of view and put yours across too.

Learn to cope with your anger. If you are feeling very angry try and walk away from the situation to calm down rather than saying or doing something you might regret later.

There are more sources of information for anger issues in the next section.