Getting Help

When a child or young person is very angry it can be hard to help them. They may say there is nothing wrong and that everyone else has the problem.

Children may not know why they are feeling angry. For parents and carers it is important to try and work out what might be causing the anger and to help the child deal with it. You can try talking to the child when they are calm and when there are no distractions. You could say that you have noticed they don’t seem happy and ask if anything is worrying them or stressing them out. If the child is not ready to talk, try saying you are there to listen whenever they are ready.

It is worth giving very clear boundaries to your child about what behaviour is and isn’t acceptable from them, so they know when they have done something wrong. Be consistent in making sure there are consequences if they do cross the line.

If you feel your family needs professional help to deal with problems of anger or violence, it is a good idea to talk to the GP. You can go without the child if they do not want to come. It can be helpful to write down a list of times when your child has been angry, what has happened and the effect on the family.

If your child is under 18, your GP may decide your family needs to be referred to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). Your child may be offered talking therapy to help them with their anger. You and other family members may get support to help understand and manage your child's behaviour. If your child is over 18 they will need to ask for the help themselves. If they are not willing to do this, you can still ask your GP for support for yourself, to help you cope with the situation.

Youth counselling services can also help, and young people can refer themselves to these, without needing to see a doctor first. Most will see young people between the ages of 13-25. Search for local counselling and advice services here

If your child is violent towards you or other people, you may need to call the police or emergency services for your own protection. This can be a very difficult and upsetting thing to do but it may be the only way of stopping the behaviour and making sure your child gets some help.