Getting Help
All children develop at different rates and there is a wide range of normal development. You may know your child has difficulties from birth or from a very early age. Or you may become concerned about their development as they get older and you realise they are not progressing in the way other children are. It may be that they just need a bit of extra time and help, and they will catch up.
It is worth checking with your health visitor, GP, or if they are at nursery or school, your child's teacher, if you are worried about any of the following areas of your child's development:
- Physical development, for example sitting up, crawling, walking or running
- Balance and co-ordination
- Talking and listening
- Understanding and learning
- Hearing or sight
- Fine motor skills, like picking up small objects, drawing and writing, dressing skills
- Eating
- Sleeping
- Sensory issues, for example, over-sensitivity to noise, lights or touch
- Behaviour problems
- Overactivity
- Short attention span or inability to focus
- Problems adapting to change.
If your GP or health visitor shares your worries, they should refer your child to the local child development centre. Staff there will be able to assess your child, by observing them, talking to you and perhaps by conducting tests to check your child's development.
They may feel your child will catch up, and might offer advice on how to support their learning and development at home. They may identify particular areas your child needs support with, and offer help with these, such as support from a speech and language therapist. They may diagnose your child with a particular condition, in which case they should provide you with information about that condition. They should say what support they think your child needs at home and elsewhere, to reach their full potential.
If your child is at school or nursery and there are concerns about development or learning, the teacher should follow a step-by-step process to provide extra support. They may suggest that your child should have a statutory assessment (see special educational needs), to make sure they get the help they need at school.
Children with disabilities and their families can have lots of extra stresses and strains in addition to the day to day challenges everyone faces.
Many children and young people with disabilities are incredibly strong and positive, achieve fantastic things, and just get on with life, despite the challenges they face. But there may be times when they feel depressed, anxious or angry about their disabilities. They may be in pain or discomfort which over the long term has a psychological effect.
It can be upsetting and isolating if they can’t do the things their friends and peers can, and they can develop low self-esteem. They may have problems making or keeping friends and can be more likely to suffer from bullying. Frustration can be a problem if they have difficulties communicating or doing things independently. There may be lots of medical appointments, operations, and medication to cope with. They might also feel guilty or upset about the effect their disability is having on their family and carers.
For parents and carers, looking after children with severe or complex disabilities is often a full time job. While this can be rewarding and positive, it can also be exhausting, and local services may be very stretched and not always able to offer much help. Parents and carers may have constant worries about their child’s health, wellbeing and their future care. Managing appointments, help, activities and schooling for their child can be stressful. Brothers and sisters may feel left out, jealous, or worried and embarrassed about their sibling being different. All these factors can affect family life and make things hard at times.
If you have a child with a disability, you may be entitled to extra financial help and other support – ask for a carer’s assessment, which will help services decide what support you need.
It’s really important to be open with your child about their disability if you can, and share information about it so they don’t feel everything is out of their control. Prepare and explain about appointments and medication, and if possible include them in decision-making. Accept that they may feel life is unfair, and try to help them take part in normal life as much as possible. For parents and carers, meeting other families in a similar situation can really help.
If you think your child is beginning to have emotional or mental health problems as well as their existing disability, talk to the team who are providing their care – this may be at the child development centre, social services or a hospital department. Explain your concerns about your child and ask how you can best support your child emotionally. There may be someone in that team who can help, or they may be able to make a referral to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). Alternatively, you may need to visit your GP and ask for this referral yourself.
Your child may be offered some talking therapy. You and other family members may be offered support to help understand and manage their behaviour.
If your child is over 18 they may need to ask for the help themselves, depending on their ability to do this, or you can support them in asking for it.
Youth counselling services may also be able to help, though some might not have the expertise needed to work with all types of disability.Young people can refer themselves to these. Most will see young people between the ages of 13-25.