Getting help
If you think your child is regularly lying or stealing, it is important to try and talk about it with them. They may not want to and it may take some time to convince them. You could say you are not going to tell them off, but just want to find out what is going on, so you can help them sort it out. Give them the chance to come to you when they are ready, and try and be positive about what you can do to help them.
If you think your child’s lying or stealing is a sign of behavioural or emotional problems, it is a good idea to talk to the GP. You can go without the child if they do not want to come. It can be helpful to write down a list of times when your child has lied or stolen, and anything you think might be causing it.
If your child is under 18, your GP may decide your family needs to be referred to specialist Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS). Your child may be offered talking therapy to help them with their feelings. You and other family members may be offered support to help understand and manage their behaviour. If your child is over 18 they will need to ask for the help themselves. If they are not willing to do this you can still ask your GP for support for yourself, to help you cope with the situation.
Youth counselling services can also help, and young people can refer themselves to these. Most will see young people between the ages of 13-25.
When should I be worried?
All children and young people are different and they react to life in different ways. At some stages, particularly pre-school age and the teenage years, children can find it hard to control their emotions. This is a normal part of their development as they learn to cope with life and realise they can’t have everything their own way.
But if your child’s behaviour has changed recently, or you have started worrying about it and are not sure if what they are going through is normal or not, it’s worth thinking about the following:
1 Is the behaviour out of character for your child, or does it fit in with their general way of dealing with things?
2 Has the change been very sudden or have things been changing for a while?
3 Is there anything obvious that might have upset or unsettled them? (Moving house or school, divorce and separation, bereavement, friendship problems).
4 Is the behaviour having a negative effect on their daily life?
- Stopping them attending school or getting their schoolwork done?
- Affecting friendships or family relationships?
- Getting in the way of hobbies or activities?
- Affecting eating or sleeping?
5 Is anyone else worried about their behaviour, such as other family members, teachers, friends?
6 Has your child said they think there is a problem or that they are worried?