School Problems
Throughout their school life, many children have problems attending school or with their behaviour in school. This is unsurprising as they spend so much of their time there.
Problems going to school
Some children find the transition between home and school difficult in the mornings. They may feel sick, have headaches or tummy aches, or find it hard to get up and get ready. They may be very unwilling to go in and have to be ‘dragged’ through the gates.
This is very stressful for the child and parents and can cause lots of worry. Some children who are like this settle down once they are in school and feel fine by the afternoon. Others are also anxious while in school and may have to be sent home if they are too distressed.
There can be many causes for this type of behaviour. A child might be finding their schoolwork difficult and have low self-esteem because of this. They might be having friendship problems or not getting on with a teacher. Or they could be experiencing bullying which they are too afraid to talk about.
Alternatively, they might be feeling worried about things at home, such as their parents’ relationship or housing problems or a new sibling. This can make them feel it isn’t ‘safe’ to leave home.
Children who do not go into school
Children who truant without their parents’ knowledge may also be doing it due to the causes described above. Or they may be showing other signs of behavioural problems as well such as lying, stealing and aggressive behaviour (see page on ‘Behavioural Problems’).
They may be very unhappy and ‘out of control’. Alternatively, they may just be ‘fed up’ and bored with school and not see the point in going. It can be a real shock for parents to find out their child is not going to school and can cause feelings of anger and worry.
Some parents find their children’s distress at going to school so hard to bear they can keep them off to avoid going through it. It may seem like a solution but doing this will confirm your child’s fears about school and can make the problems much worse. It is really important to address these issues with the school and work together.
Other parents do not encourage their children to go to school and can even keep them off deliberately. This is a real cause for concern and can damage their children’s education and chances in life.
Problems while at school
Some children show difficult or anxious behaviour at school while they are mostly well-behaved and happy at home. This could be due to the school environment, such as noisy classes or unsupervised playgrounds.
It could also be due to friendship problems, bullying, or peer pressure to be ‘naughty’. Another cause can be learning difficulties such as dyslexia which have not been identified and which cause the child to feel they are ‘no good’ at school and that it is better to mess about and have fun.
Finally, some children who have a very strict family regime can take the opportunity to ‘let loose’ at school.
What can I do?
If you are worried about any aspect of your child’s behaviour at school, or if they are not going in, it is essential to talk to the school as soon as possible.
Parents and teachers will need to work together to sort out what is happening and to send the message to the child that school is important and that they can find a way through.
A ‘home-school’ book can be a good way of keeping communication going so that everyone is informed. If you think your child may have learning difficulties you can ask for them to be assessed so that help is provided.
The educational welfare officer and educational psychologist may need to be involved if your child is really distressed or defiant, and if you are concerned about their mental health it is worth discussing it with the GP too, who can refer you to Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services if necessary.
If bullying is a concern, the school should have an anti-bullying policy in place which you can ask to see. If you are very unhappy with how the school is handling your child’s problems, you can contact the local education authority, or ACE (see resources below).
To discuss your concerns further and find out what could help, call YoungMinds Parents Information Service.
See also www.ace-ed.org.uk for advice on education and statementing
www.bullying.co.uk for help around bullying. Our links section also contains resources that may be of use to you.
