Our relationship with food can change - and that's okay
Children’s attitudes to eating are affected by a range of factors including the attitudes and behaviours of parents and peers towards food, nutrition and body image, trauma, stress, and bullying. Appetites may change at different ages and this is normal; some eat a lot or eat anything, others are more particular. Younger children often refuse to eat certain foods and teenagers may try 'fad diets'. Most of us have tried out different eating habits or diets at some time in our lives, whether to lose or put on weight or to improve our health, and this is not necessarily a cause for concern.
Problems can start to emerge when a child or young person feels under pressure. They may lose their appetite; or they may turn to food for comfort and eat even when they are not hungry; their worries about food may be related to their size or body shape, or can be more about their emotions and self-esteem.
When does it becomes a problem?
Young people’s problems with food can begin as a coping strategy for times when they are bored, anxious, angry, lonely, ashamed or sad. Food becomes a problem when it is used to help cope with painful situations or feelings, or to relieve stress, perhaps without even realising it. Children can fear getting fat and may perceive their body shape differently than those around them. It is useful to know that an eating problem is usually symptomatic and suggests there is an underlying problem that needs to be identified, understood and treated.
Young people with eating disorders often consider them to be a solution rather than a problem, making identification and treatment more difficult. They tend to have extreme concerns and sense of self-worth in terms of body shape and weight. If you're worried about your child there are things you can do to help.
How can I help my child?
Be aware that they may deny they have a problem
Be aware that many young people may deny they have a problem. They may try to keep it a secret, and find it difficult to accept they need help.
Go to see your GP
Make notes about your main concerns ahead of the appointment. The GP will make an assessment and if they think your child needs specialist help, they should be able to refer you to a mental health professional specialising in this area.
There is different treatment options
There are many different types of treatment, depending on the nature of the eating disorder and the symptoms. Treatment can includes dietary control as well as individual and family therapy aimed at resolving underlying emotional problems.
Hospital admission can be necessary
If the young person has lost a great deal of weight, or other help seems not to work, they may need to spend some time in hospital or a special unit, where treatment can be more closely monitored.
Get the support family and friends
Ask family and friends to help support a young person with an eating disorder, particularly by talking to them about their feelings and everyday problems.
They may find it easier to talk to a teacher
Young people unwilling to accept help from their parents may find it easier to talk to a teacher at school.
Download our full Parents Helpline guide to eating problems
For more information and advice, you can download our full Parents Helpline guide. The guide includes:
- information about different eating disorders, including their symptoms
- advice on how you can support your child with an eating disorder
- a list of helplines and services you can use
Where to get help
Useful helplines and websites:
Offers information and support for anybody affected by eating disorders, and for their families and carers.
One-to-one web chat available.
Enter your postcode in the HelpFinder to see what eating disorder support is available in your area.
Parents and carers in some parts of the UK can access peer mentoring, through which you can be supported by someone who's been through the same situation.
Information on helpline accessibility and confidentiality available here.
- Opening times:
- 365 days a year - weekdays (9am - 8pm); weekends (4pm - 8pm)
Anorexia and Bulimia Care
Offers support to anyone affected by eating disorders, and to their parents or carers.
Hosts an online community for anybody supporting someone with an eating disorder.
If calling the helpline, you can select option two to get support and advice as a parent.
- Opening times:
- 9:30am - 5pm, Tuesday - Friday
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
- Opening times:
- 9am - midnight, 365 days a year
Text YM to 85258
Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.
All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.
Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.
Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.
- Opening times: