How I manage my nerves when starting a new job

An important consideration for me when I worry about whether I’m capable of doing something is that the employer has chosen me to fulfil the role. When I come out of an interview, I often replay moments in my head where I could’ve given a better answer or taken a different approach to a question, but I very rarely think about when I gave a good answer or what the employer saw as positive in me.

This phenomenon, often labelled negativity bias, means we feel the sting of a rebuke more than the joy of praise, focusing more on the negative internal feelings as opposed to the positives others see in us. Negativity bias can manifest itself in a new job setting, and in my two training games, I found myself amplifying negative feedback, making overly safe choices, and ruminating about what could go wrong. But what I’ve come to realise in this new job setting is that you are given a license to make mistakes, because that’s how you learn.

It’s important to know that not every boss treats their staff like Gordon Ramsay speaks to his cooks on Hell's Kitchen after they make a mistake. Don’t be afraid to make mistakes, ask questions if you’re stuck, or express if you’re uncomfortable with doing something, because if you stay in an uncomfortable situation without speaking up, that’s how problems arise later down the line. Nobody is expected to get everything right when they start a new job, and inevitably, things go wrong. It’s then up to a good employer and staff to guide you in the right direction in a measured way, to promote growth and understanding for next time. If you do this, you won’t be labelled a donkey, à la Ramsay.

A good thing, too, is making friends with fellow employees, especially if they’ve just started as well. As part of my role, four other commentators started at the same time as me, and I found that by speaking with them about what I’m struggling with, we’re all in the same boat. I used to have a tendency to internalise my problems and think I was the only one struggling when everyone else seemed to be finding things easy, but speaking out makes a difference. In this case, I was struggling with a homework task, so I messaged two friends I’d made to ask for some help, and they both gave great advice. This helped me complete the homework task, and as was the case with the assessment day, I knew there were things I could’ve done differently, but I tried my best.

As I write this blog, I’m two months into this new role, and I will admit that I’m finding it difficult, which is making me nervous. I’m nervous about what will happen next, but I know that whatever comes next, it won’t derail me. What I know for certain is that I’m trying my best, treating others with kindness, taking in feedback while not taking it personally, and staying level-headed. I’m determined not to let the negativity bias get the better of me, and when I feel my anxiety building up before I go into work, I try to remove myself from how I’m feeling. I try to gain perspective. I’m not my own thoughts, and how a new role goes shouldn’t define my self-worth.

I’m someone who tends to put excessive pressure on myself – an overthinker and perfectionist. But this mindset only increases my nerves. Nerves are natural and show you care about what you're doing, but nerves shouldn’t be the overriding feeling. A new job shouldn’t take over your life. When things go right in a job, allow yourself to enjoy it. And when it doesn’t go to plan, allow yourself to be free from it.