The stress of CAMHS: waiting, uncertainty and being heard

Topics mentioned: CAMHS, ADHD and mental health

About: Navigating CAMHS can be slow, unclear and stressful. Hassnat shares his experience of waiting, uncertainty and trying to be heard.

When I first started trying to get help, everything felt urgent but also unclear. I was around nine years old when my mum began taking me to appointments, and although she told me CAMHS would help, I did not really understand why I was there. The referrals, forms and appointments all felt long and confusing, and as time went on, I saw many different therapists between the ages of nine and eighteen. Looking back, I can see that what should have felt like support often felt slow, impersonal and difficult to make sense of, even though my mum was doing everything she could to push for help.

At the same time, I was struggling to fit in at school and was so focused on trying to belong that I did not fully recognise my own difficulties at first. My mum kept pursuing help for me and my siblings, and being referred into the service did feel like a step forward. However, that sense of progress was often followed by long waits, unclear timelines and gaps between sessions, which made everything feel uncertain again. I was left not knowing when someone would contact me or what the next step was.

That uncertainty had a bigger impact on me than I realised at the time. Letters and brief phone calls sometimes used language I did not understand, and having to repeat my story to different professionals became exhausting. There were long periods where I heard nothing at all, and during those times I felt like I had to manage everything on my own. Some therapists felt robotic or dismissive, and one experience in particular stayed with me. One therapist in particular spoke in a very assertive tone and came across as lacking empathy. At one point he said, “I don’t think there’s really anything we need to do here,” which made me feel like my experiences were being dismissed entirely. There was also a kind of empty, almost cruel energy in the way he spoke, which made the experience feel even more isolating. Moments like that made me feel written off, even in front of my parents, and reinforced the sense that I was not being fully seen or taken seriously.

At another point in the process, I was told that I had an ADHD diagnosis, but the way it was explained to me did not feel enough. The person who told me could have handled it with more care and clarity, because at the time I could not fully grasp what it meant. It felt like something significant was said and then quickly moved on from, without giving me the space to understand it or ask questions. Looking back, I think I should have been offered follow-up appointments to properly talk through what ADHD meant for me, rather than being left to figure it out on my own.

As the stress continued, it began to show in everyday life. I became more insecure in social situations, and my motivation gradually dropped. Without clear answers, I felt increasingly confused and started questioning whether I was overreacting or making too much of my struggles. That uncertainty stayed with me, and I could see the impact it was having on my mum. She carried so much of the emotional weight, and I could see how hard it was for her to keep going while also trying to hold me together. What has stayed with me most is not just the stress of the process itself, but how much she had to carry alongside me.

Even so, there were things that helped me cope. My mum was always there to support and comfort me, even when she was exhausted, and she has always been my rock. Sport also gave me an outlet: boxing, football, cricket and athletics helped me release stress and focus my energy on something positive. Reading and listening to other people’s mental health stories helped me realise I was not alone, and joining online groups where people spoke openly about mental health gave me a sense of belonging. Those things did not take the struggle away, but they gave me small moments of relief and helped me keep going.

But ultimately, here’s what I wish professionals and others understood about the CAMHS process:

If you’re struggling with the journey through CAMHS, know that you’re not alone. It’s a difficult system but you will get through the other side.