A group of two young people and an adult sitting on the grass in the park and laughing together.

Coping with anxiety relapse

  • 4 min read
  • 03 June 2025

Author: Mary, 24

Topics mentioned: anxiety, talking therapy, looking after yourself at uni, how to speak to your GP

About: When Mary got support for anxiety at 17, she thought it'd never happen again. She shares her story of anxiety relapse at uni and what she did to get help.

 

When I was 15, I was struggling with severe anxiety. I refused to go on medication as I wanted to 'fix' the problem, but I refused to go to therapy because I didn’t want to ‘keep on’ about it. At 17, my parents gave me the little push into counselling. I went from being ill from anxiety to applying coping mechanisms within two months. I thought that I had the skills to never feel like this again. For four years, I didn’t have a single panic attack. I felt ‘fixed’ and determined. I spoke proudly about how I struggled but was ‘stronger’ now.

I felt I just needed to get through the next six months and I would be ok. I had the coping mechanisms in place, so why couldn’t I do it this time?

How I knew I was struggling

At 21, I moved university to complete my Masters. I was living with new housemates further from home in a new city on a new course. I only knew one person nearby. The course was overwhelming with essential reading, deadlines and the amount I would have to learn for the many exams in only a few months’ time. I barely had time to eat or sleep.

I was distant from my support network. FaceTime with family got less regular as I got busier. Time to see friends was non-existent. My boyfriend and I split up after four years. I was always comparing myself to my course mates. My support systems were crumbling.

I began getting anxious again, but this time I could feel it in my breathlessness and inability to concentrate which made me panic even more. I wasn’t living at home so didn’t have the same push to reach out. I felt I just needed to get through the next six months and I would be ok. I had the coping mechanisms in place, so why couldn’t I do it this time? Surely I was older, wiser and had less teenage angst? But I felt myself spiralling. I felt like a failure. I felt like I had lied. I felt I couldn’t get support because I was simply too busy.

What changed and how I got help

In retrospect things are much clearer. Techniques that worked when I was 17 would not necessarily be as effective at 21. They were the foundations - not the final product. Situations I struggled with when I was 17 were not the same situations I struggled with now. Most importantly, the entire premise of my anxiety had shifted. Before, I was panicking about things I simply couldn’t control. Now, I technically was in control but did not feel it.

I reached out to my family and properly spoke to them. I booked a phone call appointment with my GP and despite being so against medication previously, we discussed my concerns and I was prescribed medication that would work best for me. I could use them as and when needed rather than all the time, causing minimal side effects.

I had a meeting with my course tutors and explained what was going on. I spoke to my close course mates. Every person provided me an external point of view - something I had completely lacked sight of while being trapped in my head.

What I wish I knew

When you relapse or lapse after time doing better, you are not starting from scratch to get back on track. All of the advice and techniques are within you – you may just need a new way to apply them to life now.

You may need to work at techniques that felt natural last time you did them. Mental health is just like any other learning - you have to practise to strengthen the pathways in your brain so that they become habits.

It does not mean giving up. I used anxiety medication until the end of my course. Once all of the temporary stressors and lack of wellbeing fell away, I could revert to my old but improved techniques. There is no shame in taking medication for your mental health – it just wasn’t right for me!

Previously, my anxiety was all in my stomach. This time, it felt like it was taking over my body. I was older this time, the feeling felt alien after so long and I felt it had more impact on my future.

I could have got through that year without reaching out for help. However, it would have been an incredible struggle. Instead, I took a day to get help, and my situation instantly improved by speaking to others.

Relapses or lapses can feel like you are back at square one. But remember, this is not the case. You have everything there, but reaching out for support helps you realign. This is simply a hole in the road, not the beginning of it.

When you relapse or lapse after time doing better, you are not starting from scratch to get back on track. All of the advice and techniques are within you – you may just need a new way to apply them to life now.

More information and advice

We have tips and advice to help you find the support you need. Take a look at our guides.

Where to get help

However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.

  • No Panic

    Supports people struggling with panic attacks, phobias, obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and other anxiety-related issues - and provides support and information for their carers.

    Call 01952 680835 for a recorded breathing exercise to help you through a panic attack (available 24/7).

    Read information about call costs.

    Opening times:
    10am - 10pm, 365 days a year
  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    24/7
  • Samaritans

    Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.

    Opening times:
    24/7

Become a YoungMinds blogger

Find out more

Spread the word