Topics mentioned: university and mental health, keeping well in winter
About: Gopika shares how she got through her first UK winter as an international student, with tips for coping with loneliness, homesickness and mental health.
As a young Indian girl with big dreams, my idea of a British winter came straight from the movies: watching Christmas lights while bundled up in blankets, sipping on a mug of hot chocolate, and maybe making a snowman later. So when I first landed in the UK as an international student, that’s exactly what I expected. Unfortunately, I had not done enough research to learn about the 4pm sunsets or the impact they were going to have on my mental health.
Rebuilding your life in a new city can be challenging, even more so when you have very little support around you. I had always heard how difficult it can be to make new friends in your 20s, but this was my first time actually facing it. It was also my first time living so far away from home, and the homesickness kicked in quickly. As the days grew darker, I started to realise just how completely lonely I was.
Rebuilding your life in a new city can be challenging, even more so when you have very little support around you.
The real trouble, however, began when the winter break started. Until then, my university lectures gave me enough motivation to drag myself out of bed each day. Now, without any classes to attend, I suddenly had the freedom to stay up all night and lie in bed all day. This lack of routine further deteriorated my mental health, even to the point where I wondered if I should drop out and return home. But deep down, I knew that wasn’t an option. I had worked hard to be here, and I was sure I would regret it if I quit now.
So I gathered whatever strength I had left and pulled myself out of the hole I had crawled into. Looking back now, almost three years later, I am proud of how the journey from there to here has shaped me.
If you are a young person struggling with loneliness, homesickness, or your mental health this winter, international student or not, here are a few things you can do to keep yourself going:
Asking for help can seem daunting when you are at your lowest and your mind is making you question your worth. But there are so many people who genuinely want to help; they just need you to reach out. Almost all universities have student support services that offer free counselling sessions, and nightlines where you can speak to trained student volunteers when things get hard.
Don’t wait for people to have fun with you. Do it yourself. A friend once told me, “If you can go to the cinema by yourself and have a meal at a restaurant by yourself, then there’s nothing you can’t do on your own.” You can start by finding a cosy spot outside your room or apartment where you can go from time to time. This can be a couch in the café across the road, a corner in your local library, or a booth in the student union.
If you are a student, make full use of everything your school, college, or university has to offer. Join that club. Attend the socials. Register for the ceilidh. It’s one of the easiest ways to meet people who share your interests and, slowly, to build real friendships. Some of my closest friends today are the people I met during a cultural society meet-up two years ago.
If you have strong connections back home, this is a good time to lean on them. Call your family, reconnect with old school friends, or message someone who feels like home. There were days when a five-minute call with my family used to cheer me up for the rest of the day. Keeping your culture close can help too; cook a dish from home, listen to music you grew up with, or rewatch a childhood comfort show.
My first carousel experience gave me a spark of childlike joy that encouraged me to keep moving forward.
Looking back now, I am so glad I didn’t give up on that version of myself who was struggling. Things eventually started getting easier, not because the days grew brighter, but because I decided to show up for myself even when it felt uncomfortable. I still remember the first time I went to the local Christmas market alone. I had been wanting to go for weeks but was unnerved by the idea of going by myself. But one evening, I wrapped myself up and stepped out. I even rode the carousel, something I had only seen in movies before. I remember feeling like a child in the joy I experienced. And that unexpected moment of joy gave me the courage to step out again. When things get hard, always remember – this too shall pass.
Read more blogs from young people
More information and advice
We have tips and advice to help you find the support you need. Take a look at our guides.
Where to get help
However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.
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Childline
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
- Opening times:
- 24/7
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Shout
Text SHOUT to 85258.
Shout provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.
All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.
Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.
Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.
- Opening times:
- 24/7
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Samaritans
Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.
- Opening times:
- 24/7