Gender and mental health

Differences in sex development (DSD), sometimes known as intersex, is an umbrella term for over 40 biological conditions that affect a person’s sex development. This can include differences on the inside of your body and on the outside. It can be things like differences in the development of sex chromosomes, some hormones or the reproductive organs or genitals (the penis or vagina).

People with a DSD/intersex people develop in many different ways. Some might not have periods or be able to have their own children, while others may look different in their build or how they grow. But having a DSD is no different from having a variation of any other part of the body. No one body is the same and we are all unique.

Sometimes, when you are born intersex, differences in how your genitals look could be a sign of a serious medical condition. When this happens, a parent/carer might think about surgery as an option. In the UK, it’s likely that surgery will only be considered if there is a medical need for it, not simply because you look ‘different’. And even in these cases, adults/carers might be encouraged to wait until you are old enough to be involved in any decisions about surgery yourself. Just like any other part of the body, the care that you receive should always be based on the best available evidence and the impacts it could have on you.

Whether you have had surgery or not, having a DSD could mean you have a complicated relationship with your body. As with any other part of the body, a difference in your appearance or how your body works could have a big impact on how you see yourself. This can be very difficult but remember that support is out there to help you work through these experiences and live a happy and fulfilled life.

If you are intersex/have a DSD, knowing more about your condition may help you to feel more confident in your body. You can find out more about specific DSDs through the organisation dsdteens.

Unfortunately, some people experience bullying, hostility or discrimination if their gender identity is not similar to the people around them. Experiencing this, or hearing about these experiences from others can mean there may be times or places where you don’t feel comfortable or safe sharing or expressing your gender.

You might experience:

• feeling scared about sharing your gender with others
• hiding your identity because of anxiety about how people might react and what they’ll say
• worrying about what clothes you’re wearing to express your gender, or feeling pressure to express your gender in a particular way
• feeling self-conscious about how you walk or talk
  feeling like you have to act a certain way and be someone you’re not
• feeling misunderstood, even by those who are closest to you
  feeling under pressure to label your gender when you’re not sure, or to share your gender with others
• people using the wrong pronouns, like calling you ‘he’ when you are ‘they’
• being treated differently from others, or being bullied because of your gender
• feeling pressure to conform with the sex you were assigned at birth
• feeling unsupported or worried that your new gender won’t be accepted or understood by your family and friends
• people using your old name (“deadnaming”) when you have a new name

Having these experiences, particularly if they are on a regular basis, can be extremely distressing and overwhelming. You might start avoiding places or making conscious decisions about everyday things that others don’t need to think about.

Constantly carrying these emotions and making these decisions can be exhausting, and you may find it makes everyday tasks like eating, concentrating at school/work, engaging in conversation, or getting good sleep very difficult. You may also find it leads to feelings of:

• distress
• anxiety
• isolation
• anger
• depression
• wanting to hurt yourself, or suicidal thoughts

Having these experiences, particularly if they are on a regular basis, can be extremely distressing and overwhelming. You might start avoiding places or making conscious decisions about everyday things that others don’t need to think about.

Constantly carrying these emotions and making these decisions can be exhausting, and you may find it makes everyday tasks like eating, concentrating at school/work, engaging in conversation, or getting good sleep very difficult. You may also find it leads to feelings of:

• distress
• anxiety
• isolation
• anger
• depression
• wanting to hurt yourself, or suicidal thoughts

If you are experiencing any of the above, it’s important to know you are not alone. There are people who can help you and things can get better. There are helplines, therapists, counsellors and mental health professionals you can talk to who understand what you’re going through.

If you have experienced bullying, discrimination, or verbal or physical abuse because of your gender, you can report it as a hate crime.

If you need urgent help and are experiencing a mental health crisis, you should contact a helpline service on our urgent help page.

It may seem hard to believe, but things can change for society and for you. There are many people working hard every day to make society a more equal place for LGTBQIA+ people. You deserve to be who you are freely and without fear.

Our Activists share their advice if you’re struggling with your mental health and gender identity.