Three young people walk through the woods while talking and smiling together.

Self-esteem and believing in yourself

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is how you see and feel about yourself. It’s not just about looks – it’s about self-confidence too.

When your self-esteem is strong, you don’t stress too much about what others think. You accept yourself as you are, flaws and all, and believe you deserve good things. But sometimes, it’s hard to believe in yourself or feel like you’re enough. That’s totally normal.

Everyone’s self-esteem has its ups and downs. In a world where social media and comparison is everywhere, keeping a healthy self-esteem can be tough, but it’s super important. Our advice can help you feel confident and good about yourself again.

When we talk about low self-esteem, we’re talking about things like:

  • Confidence: Not feeling sure of yourself or your decisions, as if you’re not good enough, and worrying about what others think.
  • Skills: Not recognising and valuing the skills you have, like subjects you’re good at, making people laugh, or your hobbies.
  • Sharing opinions and ideas: Believing your thoughts aren’t worth sharing or that other people have better ideas to share.
  • Handling mistakes: Being uncomfortable with getting things ‘wrong’ and struggling to accept that your ‘failures’ don’t define you.
  • Self-care: Not treating yourself kindly or practising self-care.
  • Body image: Having negative thoughts about the way you look.
Simi is a Black young person and they are wearing a Black tuxedo with bow tie whilst sitting in their wheelchair and smiling.
Being Black makes me different but I wouldn’t choose to be any other way. I no longer look at the Barbies I played with when I was younger and want to be like them. Instead, I look at my strong caring mother and my incredible sisters who are so hard-working and know who they are without a shadow of a doubt – and that’s who I want to be like.

What can cause low self-esteem?

Lots of things can cause low self-esteem and it can happen at any time in your life. It could be caused by things like:

If you’re experiencing any of these, we have guides and advice that can help.

Find help

Self-esteem and mental health conditions

Low self-esteem is not a mental health condition, but it can be a sign of one. If you’ve been struggling with low self-esteem for a while, this could lead to:

If you think you might be struggling with a mental health condition, speak to your GP.

As hard as it is, recognising and accepting your own limits is a way of taking care of yourself and knowing your worth.
It's important to recognise when we need to ask for forgiveness from others, but equally, we need to learn to forgive ourselves.

Tips to help improve your self-esteem

  • Set small goals

    Achieving small goals can show you how capable you are. It could be trying a new hobby, wearing something new, or just getting dressed for the day. Whatever it is, celebrate your wins and give yourself the credit you deserve.

  • Do things you enjoy

    Whether it is drawing, playing sport, or going for a walk, doing the things you love can help you relax and feel good. Check out our self-care guide for more ways to take time for yourself.

  • Surround yourself with the right people

    Low self-esteem can sometimes come from people making negative comments. Take a moment to reflect on how those around you make you feel. Spend more time with the people who lift you up instead.

a boy wearing black jacket and with headphones on while walking on a tree lined street
I’ve used writing to create fantasy worlds, to analyse subjects that matter to me, and create a character to explore my own trauma.

Ways to think more positively about yourself

Here are some tips to help you spot and change negative thoughts:

It can be tough, but figuring out why you focus on the negatives can help you see what’s causing your low self-esteem. Ask yourself:

  • What negative things do I think about myself?
  • When did I start thinking this way?
  • What happened to make me think this way?
A young Black woman in a wheelchair and a young Black man on a bench. They are talking and laughing together.
Growing up it seemed to me that my disability was quite obvious. From having to use lifts to get upstairs to wearing leg supports, I constantly felt like everyone could see my disability. I thought they were judging me or making fun of me for the things I had to do because of it.
Sophie, 21

When negative thoughts come up, try looking at them differently. For example, if you feel like you’ve failed when things don’t go perfectly, instead try thinking, "I did okay," or "It didn’t go as planned, but I got through it." This takes the pressure off needing to be perfect.

Three people sitting and laughing on the sofa.
My self-worth was dictated by a grade on a piece of paper and the prestige of a building. This, as you can imagine, led me down a very self-destructive path and to a place in life that my younger self would have deemed a complete failure.

Write down your best feature, a compliment you received, a kind thing you did for someone, or something that made you feel good. These can be small, everyday things like when you felt good in an outfit or when you shared your thoughts in class. They might seem like small things, but they can help you see the good things about yourself and why people appreciate you.

Write these moments down so you can look at them when negative thoughts creep in.

A person leaning against a wall and laughing.
In a world that can seem very dark at times, looking for the bits of sunlight in your life can really benefit your mood.

If a friend was struggling with these negative thoughts, what advice would you give them? Think about how you would help them to feel better and treat yourself with the same kindness.

Two boys looking at a phone and smiling in the park.
Helping others made it easier for me to help myself, because I started to listen to my own feelings in the same way I listened to others.

Talking to your 'inner child' can be a powerful way to see the good in yourself and release negative feelings. I can help you to be kinder to yourself. Watch the video to find out how this works.

Play Video: The inner-child visualisation technique The inner-child visualisation technique

Speak to someone

  • If you’re really struggling with low self-esteem and negative feelings about yourself, talk to someone you trust, like a family member, faith leader, teacher or school nurse. If you don’t want to talk to someone you know, there are organisations and helplines you can contact.

    If you’re feel anxious or very low and it’s stopping you from doing everyday things, like eating, sleeping, or going to school or work,  talk to your GP. They can help you get the right support.

Supporting someone with low self-esteem

Here’s how you can help if someone you know is having a tough time with their self-esteem:

  • Talk about their positives

    Spend time chatting about the things they like about themselves. If they find this hard, start by saying what you like about them.

  • Encourage them

    If they’re feeling nervous in a situation, remind them of what they like about themselves or times when they’ve handled tough situations before.

  • Suggest they seek help

    Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult or visit their GP for professional help if they need it.

For more tips and advice on supporting someone, take a look at our guide.

Supporting a friend with their mental health

Get help now

If you’re struggling with confidence or self-belief, there are people who can help. Here are some services that can support you.

  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    24/7
  • Samaritans

    Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.

    Opening times:
    24/7
  • Tellmi

    Formerly known as MeeToo. A free app for teenagers (11+) providing resources and a fully-moderated community where you can share your problems, get support and help other people too.

    Can be downloaded from Google Play or App Store.

Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.

Please be aware that this form isn’t a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.

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