Self-esteem is how you see and feel about yourself. It’s not just about looks – it’s about self-confidence too.
When your self-esteem is strong, you don’t stress too much about what others think. You accept yourself as you are, flaws and all, and believe you deserve good things. But sometimes, it’s hard to believe in yourself or feel like you’re enough. That’s totally normal.
Everyone’s self-esteem has its ups and downs. In a world where social media and comparison is everywhere, keeping a healthy self-esteem can be tough, but it’s super important. Our advice can help you feel confident and good about yourself again.
When we talk about low self-esteem, we’re talking about things like:
Being Black makes me different but I wouldn’t choose to be any other way. I no longer look at the Barbies I played with when I was younger and want to be like them. Instead, I look at my strong caring mother and my incredible sisters who are so hard-working and know who they are without a shadow of a doubt – and that’s who I want to be like.
Lots of things can cause low self-esteem and it can happen at any time in your life. It could be caused by things like:
If you’re experiencing any of these, we have guides and advice that can help.
Low self-esteem is not a mental health condition, but it can be a sign of one. If you’ve been struggling with low self-esteem for a while, this could lead to:
If you think you might be struggling with a mental health condition, speak to your GP.
Achieving small goals can show you how capable you are. It could be trying a new hobby, wearing something new, or just getting dressed for the day. Whatever it is, celebrate your wins and give yourself the credit you deserve.
Whether it is drawing, playing sport, or going for a walk, doing the things you love can help you relax and feel good. Check out our self-care guide for more ways to take time for yourself.
Low self-esteem can sometimes come from people making negative comments. Take a moment to reflect on how those around you make you feel. Spend more time with the people who lift you up instead.
When I am struggling with my self-esteem, I will do something that I love and know that I’m good at. It might be painting or drawing - anything that allows me to express myself without fear of judgement from anyone.
Listening to uplifting music and songs about self-love helps me when I’m feeling low.
When I am struggling with low self-esteem, I look back at letters, cards or messages from friends and family to remind myself of the positive characteristics that they see in me.
I write down my worries and put them into a jar. I then go through them with someone every so often to see if they are still bothering me.
Talking to friends and family. You don’t have to tell them how you’re feeling, but they can help you feel better about yourself. There are certain people that cheer me up just seeing them.
Just because you hold these negative thoughts about yourself, it doesn’t mean they are true.
Here are some tips to help you spot and change negative thoughts:
It can be tough, but figuring out why you focus on the negatives can help you see what’s causing your low self-esteem. Ask yourself:
When negative thoughts come up, try looking at them differently. For example, if you feel like you’ve failed when things don’t go perfectly, instead try thinking, "I did okay," or "It didn’t go as planned, but I got through it." This takes the pressure off needing to be perfect.
Write down your best feature, a compliment you received, a kind thing you did for someone, or something that made you feel good. These can be small, everyday things like when you felt good in an outfit or when you shared your thoughts in class. They might seem like small things, but they can help you see the good things about yourself and why people appreciate you.
Write these moments down so you can look at them when negative thoughts creep in.
If a friend was struggling with these negative thoughts, what advice would you give them? Think about how you would help them to feel better and treat yourself with the same kindness.
Talking to your 'inner child' can be a powerful way to see the good in yourself and release negative feelings. I can help you to be kinder to yourself. Watch the video to find out how this works.
If you’re really struggling with low self-esteem and negative feelings about yourself, talk to someone you trust, like a family member, faith leader, teacher or school nurse. If you don’t want to talk to someone you know, there are organisations and helplines you can contact.
If you’re feel anxious or very low and it’s stopping you from doing everyday things, like eating, sleeping, or going to school or work, talk to your GP. They can help you get the right support.
Here’s how you can help if someone you know is having a tough time with their self-esteem:
Spend time chatting about the things they like about themselves. If they find this hard, start by saying what you like about them.
If they’re feeling nervous in a situation, remind them of what they like about themselves or times when they’ve handled tough situations before.
Encourage them to talk to a trusted adult or visit their GP for professional help if they need it.
If you’re struggling with confidence or self-belief, there are people who can help. Here are some services that can support you.
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.
Formerly known as MeeToo. A free app for teenagers (11+) providing resources and a fully-moderated community where you can share your problems, get support and help other people too.
Can be downloaded from Google Play or App Store.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.
Please be aware that this form isn’t a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.
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