Abuse is when someone hurts, threatens or controls you, or makes you feel scared – like they’re trying to shut you down or stop you from being yourself. Especially when it keeps happening, or they do it to take away your independence or freedom. It can take lots of different forms, and it can happen to anyone, no matter your age, background, gender, religion, sexuality or race.
Whatever kind of abuse you’re going through, it’s never your fault. It doesn’t matter who’s doing it or what they say, the responsibility is always on the person choosing to hurt or control you.
Abuse can really affect your mental health, both now and in the future. That’s why it’s important to get support as soon as possible. Our guide can help you stay safe and find the help you deserve.
Abuse isn’t always easy to recognise. It can take many forms, and sometimes the signs are hard to spot, especially if the person causing harm is someone you know, love or trust. You might feel unsure about whether something “counts” as abuse, but if someone is hurting you, scaring you, or making you feel unsafe, it’s never okay and you deserve support.
Below are some examples of different types of abuse and what they can look like. This list doesn’t cover all the signs – everyone reacts differently to abuse – but it can help you know what to look out for.
This is when someone hurts you on purpose – even if they say it’s a “joke” or they didn’t mean it.
You might:
This is when someone in your home or family is violent, scary or controlling – like a parent, carer or partner. The word ‘domestic’ means the abuse happens at home or in a family or close relationship. It doesn’t have to be with a romantic partner. Domestic abuse can include one or many types of abuse, like emotional, physical, sexual or financial abuse.
You might:
You might love the person who’s hurting you, which can be confusing and make you feel like their actions are okay – but no form of abuse is okay, and you deserve to get help.
This means any kind of sexual contact or behaviour that you don’t want or haven’t agreed to, including things online. Even if you’ve said yes before, or didn’t say “no” out loud, if it wasn’t something you wanted, it still wasn’t okay.
You might:
Emotional abuse is when someone uses words or actions to control you, scare you, or make you feel bad about yourself.
You might:
Online abuse can happen on social media, in group chats, games or through texts and direct messages.
You might:
This is when someone controls your money or things in a way that makes you feel trapped or powerless.
You might:
This is when someone targets or mistreats you because of who you are, like your age, race, gender, sexuality, disability or religion. This could come from anyone, including people within your community.
You might:
This is when your needs aren’t being met – not just physically, but emotionally too. It can happen at home, in care or anywhere you rely on someone.
You might:
This is when a place that’s supposed to care for people – like a school, care home or hospital – treats you badly, unfairly or without respect.
You might:
Honour-based violence is when someone is abused, hurt or threatened because their family or community believes they’ve brought ‘shame’ or ‘dishonour’ on them – often by not following strict rules or expectations about behaviour, relationships or identity.
Forced marriage is when you’re made to marry someone against your will. This could be through threats, pressure, emotional blackmail, or physical violence.
Both honour-based violence and forced marriage are against the law.
You might:
FGM is when a girl’s or woman’s genitals are deliberately cut, removed or changed for no medical reason, and often to control your sexuality. It’s sometimes called 'female circumcision' or 'cutting', but it can also be known as sunna, gudniin, halalays, tahur, megrez or khitan.
FGM is a form of abuse. It’s illegal in the UK, and it’s extremely harmful to your physical and mental health.
Some signs that FGM might happen are:
You might:
If you’re scared this might happen to you, or if it’s already happened, there are people who can help. You can contact the NSPCC FGM helpline on 08000283550 or email fgm.help@NSPCC.org.uk. It’s free, confidential and run by people who understand how serious and sensitive this is.
National FGM Support Clinics also offer a range of support services for women with female genital mutilation for free on the NHS.
If you’re in immediate danger, call 999 straight away.
If you recognise any of these signs of abuse, even if you’re unsure, it’s important to get help. Abuse is never your fault, and there are people who care and want to help.
There are lots of organisations and services who can support you.
If you’re in immediate danger, call 999. If you can’t speak, press 55 when the call connects. This will let the operator know you need urgent help.
Abuse can affect your mental health in lots of ways – both in the moment and over time. Everyone reacts differently, and there’s no right or wrong way to feel.
If you’re going through abuse right now, you might feel:
These are all natural responses to being in a scary or unsafe situation.
If the abuse happened in the past, you might notice it’s still affecting you now. You might:
Everyone responds differently to abuse. However you're feeling, it’s a valid response to something that should never have happened to you, and you deserve to feel safe and supported. If you need support for your mental health, we have guides that can help.
If you’re experiencing abuse, it can feel scary to ask for help – but you don’t have to deal with it alone. You might feel like it’s your fault or worry that no one will believe you. You might feel confused about what’s happening or scared about what could happen if you tell someone. These feelings are really common. But abuse is never your fault. You deserve to feel safe, and there are people who care and want to support you.
Here’s what you can do to find support:
You might not feel ready to tell someone everything, but talking to just one person can make a big difference. Is there a friend, neighbour, or family member you trust? You could let them know you’re not safe, or that you’re worried you might not be.
You could agree on a secret signal or code – like a missed call, a blank text or an emoji – so they know when you need help.
You might also want to speak to a professional, like your GP, a teacher, school counsellor, youth worker or social worker. They can help you figure out what to do next and keep you safe.
There are lots of organisations that support people affected by abuse. You can contact them for advice, emotional support, or help making a safety plan. You don’t have to give your real name, and they won’t tell your abuser.
Here are some places you can contact:
If you’re in danger right now, call 999.
If you can’t speak, press 55 when the call connects. This will let the operator know you need urgent help.
If it’s not an emergency, but you still need advice or want to report something, you can call 101 and ask to speak to your local domestic abuse team.
Getting help when you’re experiencing abuse can take time and planning. But there are steps you can take to help protect yourself and stay safe.
If you can do it safely, try to keep a record of what’s been happening. This might include writing down the times and dates of abusive incidents, what was said or done, and how it made you feel. You could also save any abusive messages or emails. These could be useful as evidence later on if you decide to speak to the police or take legal action.
It’s also a good idea to make copies of important documents like your passport, birth certificate, ID or court orders.
If you’re storing any of this evidence, make sure it’s hidden somewhere they won’t find it, or ask someone you trust to keep it safe for you.
You have rights and there are legal options that can help keep you safe. You might be able to apply for something called an injunction or a court order. These can stop your abuser from contacting you or entering your home.
You also have the right to housing support if you’re escaping abuse – even if you’re under 18 or don’t normally live in that area. Organisations like Victim Support can help you with this.
It’s a good idea to talk to a solicitor or a support organisation about your options. You can find out more about your rights on the National Domestic Abuse website.
A safety plan is your personal guide to staying as safe as possible. It helps you think ahead about what to do if you're in danger, who you can trust, and where you could go if you need to leave in a hurry.
You might want to make a safety plan if:
Even if you don’t use it straight away, just having a plan can make a big difference to how safe and in control you feel.
To help make your plan, talk it through with an adult you trust. This could be a parent or carer, teacher, youth worker, GP, school nurse, sports coach, or faith leader. Here are some things you might want to include in your plan:
You can also pack a small emergency bag and keep it somewhere safe, with things like clothes, medication, ID, money and a charger.
You can download a safety plan template from Childline to help you think through your options. Just make sure you don’t save it anywhere your abuser could find.
If you're experiencing abuse, asking for help can feel overwhelming. There are lots of reasons why it might feel hard or even impossible to speak out. But it’s always a good idea to seek help. Here are some of the common barriers you might face when trying to get support, and ways you can start to move through them.
You might question whether what you're going through is really abuse. Maybe you’re thinking, “It’s not that bad,” or “Other people have it worse.” Abuse can mess with your sense of what’s normal. You might feel confused, ashamed or like you’re making things up – especially if the person hurting you says it’s your fault.
What can help:
You might be scared that if you tell someone, they won’t take you seriously. Maybe you’ve opened up before and been ignored, judged or blamed. That can make it even harder to speak up again. You might also worry that no one will believe you because of your age, identity, mental health or past experiences.
What can help:
Telling someone can feel risky. You might be afraid of what the abuser will do if they find out. Or you might be worried about things like:
Abuse is never your fault. And if you tell someone, what happens to the person abusing you is not your fault either. It’s always a good idea to reach out for help.
What can help:
Sometimes, people speak up and still don’t get the support they need. You might find that some professionals avoid asking about abuse or don’t know how to respond safely. They may focus only on your mental health, without asking what might have caused you to feel this way.
You might be:
What can help:
In some families or communities, talking about abuse is seen as shameful. You might be told to stay quiet to protect your family’s reputation. Or maybe you’ve been made to feel like abuse is just something you have to deal with.
This pressure can make you feel isolated, confused or guilty – especially if the people around you are downplaying what’s happening or blaming you.
What can help:
If you're Black, from a racialised community, Disabled, LGBTQ+ or part of another marginalised group, you may face extra barriers to getting support. Some people are treated unfairly or experience discrimination when they ask for help. Others feel like they won’t be understood, or like they have to hide parts of who they are to be taken seriously. You might find that services:
What can help:
Even when you do speak out, it can be really frustrating if you’re stuck on a waiting list, or you’re only offered short-term support. Sometimes the service you need just isn’t available in your area.
What can help:
Getting help shouldn’t be this hard, and you’re not to blame for any of it. If you’ve tried to get support and it didn’t go the way you hoped, that doesn’t mean you should stop trying. You deserve to feel safe. And there are people and services that can support you through this.
Below are some services and helplines that can support you if you’re experiencing abuse.
If you are in immediate danger, call 999.
LoveRespect is run by Women's Aid.
It provides a safe, anonymous space, for 14-24 year olds to gain more understanding of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
It offers resources for you and your friends if you’re experiencing domestic abuse, including identifying abuse, isolation, asking adults for help, mental health impacts, and more.
Offers support to anyone affected by crime; not only those who experience it directly, but also their friends, family and any other people involved.
Live webchat service available.
Offers specialist support for children and young people affected by crime through their website You & Co.
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
A dedicated LGBT+ anti-violence charity.
Gives advice and support to people who have experienced biphobia, homophobia, transphobia, sexual violence or domestic abuse.
Helpline supporting Black and minoritised communities affected by domestic abuse including forced marriage and honour-based violence.
Supports all male victims of domestic abuse and those supporting them, including trans and non-binary people.
Services include a helpline, webchat and email service as well as an information hub with local male victim’s domestic abuse services, refuges/safe houses for male victims, and specialised support for other areas of need including housing and homelessness, immigration, mental health and wider.
This page was reviewed in June 2025.
It was co-created by young people with lived experience of abuse.
We will next review the page in 2028.
YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK – the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.
Please be aware that this form isn’t a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.
