What to do when your child is on a waiting list

While you’re waiting for your child to receive support, talk to them about what it is they might need. They may want someone else to talk to about what they’re going through. They might want emotional support from you. They might need help creating a routine or structure for self-care. Or they may need clarity about what’s going on with appointments.  
 
Everyone is different. Try not to make assumptions about what might be ‘best’ for your child. Ask them directly what they want or need. 

Self-care can help your child build resilience and maintain balance while waiting for professional support. Self-care is not a replacement for structured mental health treatment. But it can be a way to help your child feel more in control of their wellbeing. 
 
Sometimes, even small acts of self-care can make a difference. A short walk, taking a bath, cuddling with a pet, or engaging in a craft activity together can support your child’s wellbeing. Again, it’s important to take their lead here: ask them what might make them feel supported, safe, and well. They might want to get started by having a look our self-care guide for young people.
 
You might also want to think about your own self-care. Children often take cues from parents and caregivers, so show your child that it’s okay to prioritise wellbeing by practicing self-care yourself. This might mean sharing with them how you unwind after a stressful day or trying an activity together like crafting, dancing, or breathing exercises.

There are also lots of resources that can help your child manage their mental health in the short term. Mood tracking apps can help you both understand potential triggers as well as things that help. Other mental health apps or websites provide useful exercises to manage anxiety or depression. Books that speak to their specific experiences can help them feel much less alone. 

If your child is on a waiting list, it’s important to actively advocate for their needs. This means your child’s struggles are taken seriously by professionals and helps them access additional support while they wait. 
 
You might want to stay in regular contact with the healthcare or educational professionals involved in your child’s care to understand where things are, and to provide updates to your child. You could also create a written record of what’s going on for your young person, which can be really helpful when attending meetings. 
 
There might also be times when you have to escalate things. If your child’s mental health is affecting their ability to go to school, read our guide on school anxiety for more information on where to get support. Or, if you feel like the current service they’re seeing isn’t providing adequate support, you could ask your GP for alternative options or contact local advocacy services for help. 
 
Again, it’s important to make sure your child has a meaningful say in how you advocate for them. They understand their own experiences better than anyone, so ask them how they want you to speak up for them.