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A letter to myself when I was being bullied

3 min read
11 November 2019

I think it’s important to remember that many people have experienced bullying at some point in their lives. No one should ever feel alone when dealing with this troubling experience. No matter the circumstances of each individual experience of bullying, people who have endured bullying may agree that there are things they would do differently. Or perhaps they might wish they could go back in time and say something reassuring to themselves. I certainly wish that I could go back and do things differently, or say something reassuring to myself.

What would I say to myself when I was being bullied?

Dear Saskia,

You’re being so brave

You are such a strong individual, even if you don’t feel like you are. You might have pretended to be ill to avoid going into school at first, but that all changed once you realised you shouldn’t have to hide. Even though your school peers make you feel bad about yourself, and dread runs through your veins every time you walk through the gates, you still get up every morning and go to school.

Despite this and all the other troubling experiences you’re going through in your home life, like the divorce of your parents and the issues surrounding it, you’re still tackling life. You’re amazing and you will grow up to be an even stronger and more confident person.

The bully’s actions are more about them than you

People who bully often have their own issues they’re dealing with. This doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Bullying of any form is unacceptable. However, this is something to just keep in mind because more often than not, their actions are more about them than you. They’re just trying to find a way of dealing with their own insecurities and emotions. Or maybe they’re just genuinely mean individuals. Either way, you’ll grow up and never see these people again, and teachers will become stricter on bullying for the next generation of children and beyond. Even if your teachers did not help you enough when you were bullied, they will get tougher on bullying.

Ask for help

However, you as an individual should not be afraid to go to someone higher up in school if your teachers are not dealing with bullying in the way they should. Ask your mum to go to the head teacher or the school governors. It’s okay to ask for more help if you’re not getting it from the teachers that should be helping you.

There’s no need to question how you are feeling

You’re not weak for asking for more help and you are definitely not wasting anyone’s time - you are allowed to feel the way you do. You are being bullied and those bullying you need to be told what they’re doing is wrong. You’ll feel so much better afterwards and your mum will help you through it if you need some courage.

In the meantime

Keep on being brave and remember that, as you grow older, the people bullying you will grow tired of their horrible name-calling. But in the meantime, do not let them get away with being horrible. Ask for support – you deserve it.

Lots of love,

Saskia

More information and advice

Where to get help

  • YoungMinds Textline

    Text YM to 85258

    Provides free, 24/7 text support for young people across the UK experiencing a mental health crisis.

    All texts are answered by trained volunteers, with support from experienced clinical supervisors.

    Texts are free from EE, O2, Vodafone, 3, Virgin Mobile, BT Mobile, GiffGaff, Tesco Mobile and Telecom Plus.

    Texts can be anonymous, but if the volunteer believes you are at immediate risk of harm, they may share your details with people who can provide support.

    Opening times:
    24/7
  • The Mix

    Offers support to anyone under 25 about anything that’s troubling them.

    Email support available via their online contact form.

    Free 1-2-1 webchat service available.

    Free short-term counselling service available.

    Opening times:
    4pm - 11pm, seven days a week
  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    9am - midnight, 365 days a year

Thanks for sharing your story Saskia, 20

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