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A young person sits in a room wearing a black hoodie and their hair tied back. They are looking to the right with their hand curled over their mouth, lost in thought.

How I cope with intrusive thoughts and rumination

  • 5 min read
  • 04 November 2025

Author: Sashal, 20

Topics mentioned: intrusive thoughts, rumination

About: Sashal shares her experience with intrusive thoughts and rumination, and offers practical tips for taking back control of your mind and finding peace.

Have you ever felt trapped in your own mind? Going around in circles and not reaching any solution? You’re not alone.

I’m 20 years old, and ever since I was about seven, I’ve had periods of obsessive, intrusive thoughts and rumination. I’ve constantly felt like I’m fighting myself in my own brain, turning a place that should feel safe into one filled with conflict and distress.

For anyone who believes there isn’t a light at the end of the tunnel, I’m living proof that there is always a way to survive the mental turmoil. Even if the noise never completely disappears, there are ways to take back power. Your thoughts are powerless without a controller.

What is rumination?

For those who don’t know, rumination is the toxic cycle of repetitive, negative thinking. It often involves becoming hyper-fixated on certain thoughts, feelings and their causes. It’s as if your mind keeps digging further and further to find a solution, only to be left in an endless rabbit hole.

Your thoughts cause havoc in your mind and end up holding you responsible. You start blaming yourself and wonder what kind of person you are for having these thoughts. This kind of thinking reduces your identity just to that thought, which is awfully damaging. Here’s an example:

Close up of a boy sitting in a park. His expression seems worried as if deep in thought.

The thought:

  • “What if I lied without realising and hurt someone?”

Followed rumination:

  • Replaying past conversations trying to check if you said something wrong
  • Asking yourself: “Did I exaggerate? Was I dishonest?”
  • Repeatedly questioning if you’re a good or bad person.

Rumination vs reality

Rumination makes you overthink past situations or memories. Instead of processing and accepting what really happened, you end up in a nasty cycle, focusing only on the negative parts and searching for a solution in nothing but a pile of misery.

It doesn’t allow for new or positive perspectives but keeps you in the same negative mindset. Reflecting on the reality of the situation, however, can lead you towards understanding and growth.

Here are some examples of ruminative thoughts and the more realistic perspectives that can replace them:

  • The thought: “Why did I say that? They must think I’m so weird.”

    The reality: They probably didn’t think anything about it at all.

  • The thought: “They were laughing at me.”

    The reality: They were probably laughing at a joke that had nothing to do with you.

  • The thought: “I always mess things up. What’s wrong with me?”

    The reality: There’s nothing ‘wrong’ with you. Everyone makes mistakes – it’s how we learn and grow.

How to break the cycle

So here’s the most important part: how can you stop yourself from being trapped in this toxic cycle? The first step is realising that you can take back control of your mind.

I can’t promise a magical solution, but here are some small steps to help you move in the right direction:

  • Identify the rumination

    Notice when your brain is looping and try to separate yourself from the habit.

  • Acceptance

    Accept that you can’t change the past. The only way forward is to move on. Don’t let your past overshadow your beautiful present.

  • Talk to yourself in the mirror

    This may sound silly, but saying kind things to yourself in the mirror can really help. Reminding yourself that you are amazing and things will work out. It might feel awkward at first, but trust me it works.

  • Remember when things worked out

    Think of times when things went well for you. If it was possible once, it’s possible again. You’re still capable of achieving great things and you’re not a failure.

  • Journal

    Write down your thoughts and break them down. For example, if you’re dwelling on a past event, break down the problem into smaller parts and make a step-by-step plan to tackle them.

  • Shift your attention to the present

    If you’re dwelling on intrusive thoughts, try grounding yourself. Notice five things you can see or hear around you.

  • Helicopter method

    Visualise yourself rising above your thoughts, like you’re in a helicopter. This will help you see the bigger picture.

  • Go outside

    Sometimes just feeling the air on your skin makes a big difference. It can help bring you back to the present moment and calm your mind.

Finally, know that you deserve to be happy. Life is meant for enjoyment, not just survival. So take back control, and let go of the things that don’t serve you.

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