How I survived my GCSEs and how you can too

Topics mentioned: exam stress, panic attacks

About: Exams can be tough and have a huge impact on your mental health. In this blog, Katie shares her experience of panic attacks and anxiety when taking her GCSEs, and her tips and advice for anyone going through it.

GCSEs – something that I’d always hear teachers talking about, and whispers of past students reliving their successes. But no one ever told me how much they would impact my life.

These exams are what you spend your entire school career working towards. It’s insane to think that five years of your life comes down to numbers on a piece of paper – numbers that all could be changed by one bad day, one mistake, one panic attack that could cost you your future.

This is far too much pressure for someone as young as 15.

I was terrified from the moment I stepped into school on the first day of Year 11. I kept questioning how on earth I was ever going to be able to complete this year, or these exams. Unfortunately, that was only the beginning of the hardest year of my life.

I could talk about every month of that year in detail, but I want to focus on the point where the pressure was truly beating me: April 2024.

Every other day, without fail, I had a panic attack. Those of you who have experienced it know how utterly terrifying it can feel. Your body reacts as if you’re in real danger, even though nothing is there. Your thoughts spiral, convincing you that you’ll fail, and in those moments, it feels like there’s no way out. I remember wishing more than anything for it all to stop.

Fast forward a month to the day of Maths Paper 1. 15-year-old me was a mess. I couldn’t do it. How could I? The idea of the paper was simply too daunting. I knew I would fail it, so what was the point?

I had locked myself in the bathroom, hoping that if I could hide then this nightmare would go away. But I knew it wouldn’t.

The next moment, I heard my front door open. Two of my teachers – my favourite teacher and head of house – had arrived. They tried to open the bathroom door. I wrestled with them, screaming at them to leave me alone. But in reality, I was fighting myself – fighting my dark thoughts – until eventually I let go.

I remember their faces through my blurred eyes. They looked at me with the utmost sympathy and took me into their arms as I continued to cry, not in a state of panic now but in pain. The pressure had truly broken me in places I didn’t even know could be broken. I had nothing left. I was done. But still, they took me to school. And even as I begged, kicked, screamed and cried, I sat that damn paper with all the strength I had left in me.

That day, I learnt that all I had to do was try. Even if I was sad, even if I was scared, all I had to do was show up and sit in front of that paper.

So, to all those who are feeling the same way I did, I have some advice for you. I can’t promise that what I am about to say will make it less hard, because truthfully, I have no idea how I was able to push through, but here are my best tips and tricks to help you survive and, hopefully, make things a little easier: