What to do if you're really struggling with your mental health

Topics mentioned: self-care, down and unable to cope, feeling out of control

About: We asked our bloggers what they do when they're feeling overwhelmed, unable to cope, and really struggling with their mental health. Here's what they said.

I don’t always get a lot of warning before I feel like I really can’t cope anymore and I can’t always tell why it has happened. Sometimes it follows a big stressful event, but it can equally follow a little frustration or a background feeling of sadness.

It is important in these moments not to make the situation worse by branding yourself weak – the last straw is often not the real cause. Looking after yourself in these moments takes immense courage and strength.

Because it’s hard to think clearly when overwhelmed, I think it’s really important to make some coping strategies that are easily accessible. Remember, these are just suggestions – everyone and every moment will be different, so keep searching until you find what works.

Three things to have ready for if you’re really struggling:

• Download a playlist of whatever music helps you feel better.
• Save some crisis numbers on your phone.
• Prepare a box of grounding objects like a blanket or something portable like a cool, smooth pebble to keep in your pocket.

Three actions that have helped me through difficult moments:

• Slowing down my mind using the box breathing technique (breathe in for four, hold for four, breathe out for four, hold for four, and repeat).
• Doing something that helps me feel connected to the real world (sitting on the floor, hugging my mum, a hot water bottle).
• Distracting myself from my thoughts (singing or writing out song lyrics, sleeping).

I try to move away from overwhelming situations, but I actively avoid being alone if I don’t trust myself to stay safe. Even if in the moment I don’t feel like I can talk, I try to speak to someone once I feel calmer and always take it slowly as I recover.

Sometimes all you can do is hold on tight and remember that the storm will pass no matter how intense it feels, but holding on is more than enough.

Whenever I’m really struggling, I want to feel safe. Yes, reading a comfort book, watching a comfort film, or immersing myself in comfort music can help, but sometimes what I really need is to feel completely safe for a little while to re-centre myself.

I go back to places my parents and I went when I was younger: the local river, a nearby museum or even a local village. I can go with them or by myself, but the entire point is to ground myself.

When I’m really struggling everything can feel impossible, overwhelming and it feels like it has always been this way and will never change. For me, the best piece of advice I have ever been given is to just sit with it for as long as I need.

Trying to make myself feel better straight away often makes me even more frustrated with myself and could lead to an even further downward spiral. I try to just sit with the feelings and remember that this doesn’t last forever.

When I'm struggling I find this can be really hard to do. So when I’m feeling well, I journal and write about how I feel when things are good. Then when I am struggling, I’m able to look back and see better times or quotes which show me that I've been here before but have got through it. And I can get through it again.

Sometimes my feelings are so strong and overwhelming that this won’t work – this is when I need a really physical response. My personal favourite is a cold-ish, clothed shower!

It sounds dramatic and make sure you are safe if you try it, but when I’m distressed I feel very hot. I find cooling off and the weight of the clothing really helps ground me.