Consent must be:
- given freely, without pressure or guilt
- informed – you know what you’re agreeing to
- ongoing – it can be changed or taken back at any time
- specific – saying yes to one thing doesn’t mean you’re saying yes to everything
You can’t assume that someone is consenting – you need to check. Things like body language and what someone says can be helpful signs, but they aren’t always enough on their own. Even if someone seems okay on the outside, they might still feel unsure. That’s why it’s always best to ask.
Signs that someone might be giving consent:
- positive body language (smiling, relaxed, enthusiastic)
- clear communication (they’re saying “yes” without pressure and seem comfortable)
- changes in how they’re feeling – just because someone was into it earlier doesn’t mean they still are
Signs someone isn’t giving consent:
- they seem quiet, nervous or unsure
- they’re not responding or freezing up
- they say “maybe,” “I don’t know,” or “I guess so”
- they pull away, go still or change the subject
- they say they don’t want to
If someone is drunk, high, asleep, or unable to understand what’s going on – they can’t give consent.
If you're ever unsure – stop. Ask how they’re feeling and be ready to listen. Consent isn’t a one-time thing – you need to keep checking in and respect any decision to stop.
