School can actually be a very lonely place for some of us. I for one find it incredibly isolating and lonely.
Loneliness is something we've all felt at some point in our lives, so why is it such an isolating feeling? School is a place full of people. Everywhere you look there's always someone, so it's impossible to feel lonely in school, right?
School can actually be a very lonely place for some of us. I for one find it incredibly isolating and lonely. Just because I don't fit into any particular group, sometimes I feel like I'm not worthy. I'm sitting in class and as I look around at everyone talking to each other and laughing, it baffles me how it's possible to feel so alone in such a crowded room.
I'd do anything to fit in and be involved. As I sit there by myself I feel like I stand out like a sore thumb, yet no one seems to notice me.
I often feel that loneliness and embarrassment go hand in hand and therefore find it difficult to accept help, but that doesn't mean I don't need or want it.
The dreaded lunch and break time arrive and I'm alone again. So I walk around and around the school until the bell goes. I'm alone with my thoughts and it’s awful. Some people make mean comments, as if this was all some sort of joke. As if this was how I wanted to spend my lunch time. I try to ignore it but it becomes impossible.
There's no escape, no safe place. I know I'm not the only one who feels like this. We need to do something. I don't want anyone else to experience this.
Help someone who might be lonely
So what can we do? For one, if you see someone who seems lonely, try and show some compassion and kindness rather than causing more pain.
Make them feel included. I often feel that loneliness and embarrassment go hand in hand and therefore find it difficult to accept help, but that doesn't mean I don't need or want it, so always try not to give up on someone. Patience is a virtue, as they say.
And if you yourself are struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. I know it can feel like it'll never get better, but it's important not to lose hope. Try and push yourself to go out of your comfort zone. It's not easy, but it's worth it.
Peer pressure and loneliness
When faced with the feeling of loneliness on a daily basis, the urge and need to fit in can be so strong that perhaps we'd do anything to be liked. School is like a breeding ground for peer pressure and it can be really tempting to give in. But it's important that you only do what you're comfortable with, because if someone is pressuring you to do something you don't want to do, then they aren't right for you. You’ll find your group eventually and it'll be worth the wait.
It's important to find some way to release some of the difficult and negative emotions or they'll build up.
Find a release
Each and every day, as I get closer and closer to school, the pit in my stomach gets worse and the nausea increases. It's unbearable and no one seems to notice or care. My advice to anyone in a similar situation is to try and find a release, some sort of activity that you enjoy.
Perhaps it's screaming relatable lyrics from the top of your lungs or maybe it's journaling about how you're feeling. Something therapeutic. Different things work for different people, but it's important to find some way to release some of the difficult and negative emotions or they'll build up, which ultimately leads to more pain.
It's not easy and you're doing the best you can, so you should be proud of yourself. Keep going and don't be afraid to reach out to someone. You've got this. You are enough.
And if you yourself are struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. I know it can feel like it'll never get better, but it's important not to lose hope.
More information and advice
We have tips and advice to help you find the support you need. Take a look at our guides.
Where to get help
However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
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Provides information about local counselling and advice services for young people aged 11-25.
Put in your location and what you need help with into their 'Find help' search, and see what services are available in your area.