Topics mentioned: autism
About: Georgia reflects on her experience of being diagnosed with autism. She shares how she copes with autism imposter syndrome and ways to overcome these feelings.
What is autism?
What is autistic impostor syndrome?
My experience of autistic impostor syndrome
I was diagnosed as autistic when I was 14 years old, but I began experiencing autistic impostor syndrome long before I’d even been diagnosed. Whilst I was on the waiting list for an assessment, I started having thoughts like ‘what if I get diagnosed, but I’m not actually autistic - then I’ll feel really guilty’. I couldn’t make sense of or explain what I was feeling, I was just so distressed at the thought of being diagnosed incorrectly.
Around this time, I told my friend I may be autistic and she made a comment about how I probably wasn’t, because I wasn’t like an autistic boy she knew, and this further fuelled my impostor syndrome.
My diagnosis came later that year, but I still had doubts. Was I really autistic and how could I be sure? It took me a while to realise and accept that I could never be 100% sure. As an autistic person, I crave certainty about everything, but this was something I could never be completely certain about.
I couldn’t make sense of or explain what I was feeling, I was just so distressed at the thought of being diagnosed incorrectly.
What I think contributed to my autistic impostor syndrome
It took me a while to work through my impostor syndrome, and I spent a lot of time unlearning myths about autism that I had been told all my life. I feel a lot of my impostor syndrome came from what others thought of autism and me, so I found it incredibly useful taking time to make my own mind up about it.
There’s very little understanding of autism amongst the general public and there are so many inaccurate and harmful stereotypes out there. Autistic representation in the media is very limited and often focuses on white, cis men with high support needs, instead of all the many ways autism can present itself in different people. This can fuel impostor syndrome, as the way some people’s autism shows up is very different to society’s expectations.
Autistic people can be (unfairly) so used to changing themselves to meet society’s expectations. Whether it’s an expectation to appear non-autistic or to appear more autistic, we often spend our lives trying to adapt to please other people, and that pressure can also be a factor that contributes to impostor syndrome.
I feel a lot of my impostor syndrome came from what others thought of autism and me, so I found it incredibly useful taking time to make my own mind up about it.
My journey to accepting my diagnosis
I spent some time exploring autism and what it means to me – how it affects me, finding other autistic people who are similar to me, and thinking about how I feel about the label – and this helped me to foster a more positive autistic identity.
I know I’m autistic and I feel proud and happy to be wearing that label - it helps me understand myself and enables me to access more appropriate support, and best of all, I get to belong to the wonderfully diverse autistic community.
How to look after yourself when experiencing autistic impostor syndrome
If you think you might be experiencing autistic impostor syndrome, please know you’re not alone. It’s really important to take time to look after yourself and seek professional support if needed. Here are some things I’ve found useful:
- Speak to someone you trust and who you think will understand what you’re going through.
- Try to be kind to yourself. Impostor syndrome can cause you to feel negatively about yourself, so using more positive self-talk and developing self-compassion can be really helpful at counteracting that.
- Connect with other autistic people and find more real-life stories from autistic people that you can relate to.
- Distract yourself from your impostor syndrome by doing something you enjoy.
It’s really important to take time to look after yourself and seek professional support if needed
Final takeaway
It took a while for me to work through my impostor syndrome, but I got there and now I feel extremely happy and comfortable being my true, autistic, self. Remember:
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Embrace who you are
Every single autistic person is completely different and that’s okay, you don’t have to change yourself to fit inaccurate ideas of what it means to be autistic.
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Decide how YOU feel
Take the time to look after yourself and decide how you feel.
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Having doubts doesn't mean you're faking
It’s completely okay to have worries and doubts – so many autistic people experience them. You’re not a bad person for feeling this way, and having these thoughts doesn’t mean you’re faking autism or that you aren’t autistic.
Read more blogs from young people
More information and advice
We have tips and advice to help you find the support you need. Take a look at our guides.
Where to get help
However you're feeling, there are people who can help you if you are struggling. Here are some services that can support you.
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Childline
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
- Opening times:
- 24/7