Relationships can be exciting – they can bring fun, connection and a sense of safety and support. But they can also be confusing or tough at times. Whether you’re in a relationship, thinking about starting one, or just figuring out how you feel about dating, it’s completely normal to have questions or feel unsure.
As you get older, there can be a lot of pressure to date. You might feel like it’s something you’re meant to be doing. That pressure can make you feel confused or even bad about yourself, especially if it’s not something you want right now.
But the truth is, there’s no one way to do relationships. Some people want romance or sex. Some don’t. Some love being in a relationship. Others don’t feel ready or aren’t interested at all. Some people choose to be with one partner, while others explore open or non-monogamous relationships. Some find love young. Others much later.
All of these experiences are valid.
No matter where you’re at with relationships and dating, this guide is here to help you make sense of it all and figure out what feels right for you.
There’s no rulebook for starting a new relationship. Everyone experiences it differently. While it can be exciting, it can also feel overwhelming as you find your way.
It’s normal to be unsure about whether a relationship is right for you or what you want from it. What matters most is that starting a relationship is your choice and that it feels good for you.
Every relationship moves at a different speed. There’s no set timeline for when things should happen, like saying “I love you”, meeting each other’s friends, or having sex. What matters is how you both feel, not what other people are doing or expect from you.
If you’re worried, the best thing to do is talk about it. It’s okay to check in and make sure you’re on the same page. In fact, it’s a sign of a healthy relationship.
You could ask questions like:
The right person will listen and won’t push you to do anything you’re not ready for.
It’s completely okay if you don’t want to be in a relationship – whether that’s now, or ever. Some people don’t feel ready for relationships or sex. Others just aren’t interested in them at all.
You might identify as ‘ace’. This is an umbrella term used to describe people who experience little or no sexual or romantic attraction. It includes identities like asexual, demisexual or aromantic.
All of these identities are on a spectrum, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. Just know that however you identify and whatever you want from relationships, you deserve respect and understanding. You don’t have to want a relationship to be whole, valid or happy.
Relationships can look and feel different for everyone, and it’s not always easy to know what’s okay and what’s not. A healthy relationship should make you feel safe, respected and supported. But when something feels off, it can be harder to recognise the signs. Here are some things to look out for:
You talk openly and regularly about your relationship without fear of what might happen or fear of being judged.
You value each other, your opinions and boundaries. When you disagree, you aren’t made to feel bad, humiliated or scared.
You feel safe, secure and have each other’s backs, even when you’re apart.
No one has control or power over the other. You both get a say, and both of your needs and feelings matter.
You feel safe to be open with each other about what you think and feel.
You have your own interests, friendships and spend time apart. You are free to be yourself and grow, while staying connected to each other.
One person tries to make all the decisions or manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do.
You’re constantly being criticised for how you look, what you think, or things you do.
You’re pushed to cut off friends, family or support, or made to feel guilty for spending time apart.
Your boundaries, opinions or identity are ignored, mocked or put down.
You feel anxious, unsafe or on edge around the other person, especially when you disagree.
Your feelings and needs are constantly dismissed, and there’s little effort to show care, support or communication.
At the end of the day, your relationship should help you feel good about yourself and your life. If you’re noticing that it’s giving you lots of worrying or negative thoughts, that’s something to think about. If you’re unsure about whether your relationship is healthy or not, Childline’s relationship check-up can help you figure it out.
Some behaviours in a relationship might seem harmless – or even romantic – at first. But over time, they can become controlling or emotionally harmful. These signs aren’t always easy to spot, especially when you care about someone. But if something doesn’t feel right, it’s important to trust your instincts. Here are some things to look out for:
This is when someone gives you an overwhelming and out of proportion amount of affection, compliments, gifts or constant messages early on. It might feel exciting, but it’s often used as a manipulation tactic to move things too fast or make you dependent on the person before you’ve really got to know each other.
If someone regularly makes you feel bad about yourself – even as a ‘joke’ or when flirting – it can chip away at your confidence. You might find yourself needing their approval or changing who you are to please them.
This is when someone keeps you interested or hopeful, even though they don’t actually want anything serious. One minute they might give you a lot of attention, and the next they go quiet. This hot-and-cold behaviour can be really confusing. You might hope things will improve if you stick around, but someone who really cares will be consistent and clear about how they feel.
Jealousy happens, but how someone handles it can tell you a lot. If they get angry when you spend time with friends or family, try to control what you wear, or check your phone, it’s not okay. You shouldn’t feel bad or guilty for having your own life.
Notice how they treat other people, like waiters, shop assistants or their family. If they’re rude or lose their temper easily, they might be more likely to treat you this way too. Also notice if they’re kind to you in public but are mean and cold to you when you’re alone.
This is when someone makes you question your feelings, memory or reality – often to avoid blame or control you. They might deny things you know happened, tell you you’re “too sensitive”, or act like you're the problem. It’s a form of emotional abuse. In a healthy relationship, your experience and feelings should always be respected.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel safe and able to be yourself. If something feels off, talk to someone you trust – a friend, family member, teacher or youth worker. Saying it out loud can help you make sense of what’s going on. Try to take a step back and set boundaries. And remember, you can leave a relationship at any time, for any reason.
Abuse is when someone hurts, controls, or takes advantage of you on purpose. It can be physical, emotional, sexual or financial. When your partner treats you like this, it’s called an abusive relationship. It is never okay and never your fault.
For advice and support on abuse, including the signs to look out for, take a look at our guide.
Even in healthy relationships, things don’t always go smoothly. You might argue, feel unsure about where you stand, or face challenges and differences that are hard to work through. It’s normal to feel confused or upset – but there are ways to look after yourself, communicate clearly and work through things together. Here are some common things you might face and how to manage them.
Arguments are a normal part of every relationship. There will always be things you don’t agree on. So having an argument doesn’t automatically mean things are going wrong. What matters is how you both handle the conflict and what you do to move on. Here are some tips to help you work it out:
Arguments can be a good thing and help you learn to communicate better. But there are some behaviours in arguments that are not acceptable. You should get help if your partner:
Finding out someone’s cheated can feel like your world’s been flipped upside down. It’s normal to feel shocked, confused, angry or numb. And it may take some time to feel okay again. You might decide you don’t want to be with your partner anymore, or you might find you can move past this and stay together. There’s no right or wrong answer and it’s up to you. Either way, these practical tips can you help you move through it:
Some couples do manage to move forward after cheating, but only if there’s honesty, communication and willingness from both people. Whether you stay together or break up, focus on what’s best for your wellbeing.
Being in a long-distance relationship can be tough. You might be trying to stay together after moving apart, or perhaps your relationship has always been long-distance. Either way, it’s hard when you can’t see each other very often. But there are things you can do to make it easier for you both:
Being in a relationship means sharing your life, but it’s also important to stay true to yourself. Relying too much on your partner can be stressful for both of you – and if you break up, it can be harder to cope. At the same time, having shared goals with your partner and time together can help you stay connected. It’s tricky to find the right balance. Here are some tips that can help:
If your relationship is online-only, it’s important to protect your privacy and make sure the other person is who they say they are. Never feel pressured to share personal photos or information. If something feels off, trust your gut and talk to someone you trust.
For more tips on staying safe online, take a look at our social media guide.
All relationships take work. Things like honesty, communication and trust don’t just happen – they’re built over time. But if you’re struggling with your mental health, relationships can feel harder to manage. You might find it difficult to open up, feel close to someone, ask for the support you need, or recognise when something isn’t working.
That doesn’t mean you can’t have a healthy, supportive relationship. Here are some tips that can help you manage your mental health with your partner:
You don’t have to share everything straight away, but opening up a little about how you’re feeling can help your partner understand what’s going on. You could say something like, “Sometimes I struggle with my mental health, and I just want you to know that.”
Everyone needs different things when they’re struggling – whether that’s a hug, some space, or just someone to sit with you. If you can, let your partner know what helps you when you’re struggling and what doesn’t.
If there’s a social media account, video, book, podcast or even a film or TV character that reflects your experience well, you could share it with your partner. It might help them understand what you’re going through.
Boundaries aren’t about pushing someone away – they’re about protecting your wellbeing. That might mean saying no to certain conversations, taking time for yourself, or being clear about what you’re comfortable with. It’s okay to set boundaries as long as you’re clear with your partner what they are and why you need them.
Sometimes your partner might not feel ready or able to support you in the way you need, especially if they’re struggling with their mental health too. That doesn’t mean they don’t care – they’re just being honest about their limits and it’s important you respect that too.
Even the most caring partner can’t be your only support. Talking to a friend, family member, GP or therapist can really help. And it can take the pressure off your relationship too. If you don’t want to talk to someone you know, there are lots of organisations that can help.
If all your friends are in relationships and you’re not, it can feel lonely or like you’re being left behind. But being single doesn’t mean you're missing out – it just means your path looks different right now, and that’s okay.
It’s not a race. Lots of people meet their partners later in life. And some people aren’t looking to be in a relationship at all. But if you’re feeling the pressure or finding it tough being surrounded by couples, here are some tips that can help:
Being single isn’t a problem to fix – it’s just one of many ways to live. What matters most is finding what makes you feel grounded, confident and supported.
What makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy is the same for everyone. But if you’re LGBTQIA+, you might have some extra things to navigate, like:
It’s understandable to have these worries, and you don’t have to figure everything out all at once. Whether you explore relationships before or after coming out is your choice. But keeping things secret can feel lonely, especially if something goes wrong. You don’t owe anyone your full story, but think about what you feel ready to share and who you trust to talk to, so you’re not going through it alone.
For more information and advice, take a look at our guides and blogs.
Your faith, culture or religion can shape how you think about dating and relationships. Maybe your family has certain expectations about who you date. Maybe your religion influences how you date – or whether you date at all. Or maybe you’re still figuring out your own beliefs and boundaries.
Whatever your background, these parts of your identity can have a big impact on how you approach love, connection and what you feel comfortable with.
If the person you’re dating doesn’t share your background, it can feel more complicated. You might feel misunderstood, worry about judgment from your family, or question your own choices. You might have different values or beliefs about the world. That can be tough – but lots of people date across cultures or religions and build strong, respectful relationships. What’s important is that your partner makes an effort to understand and appreciate your faith and culture.
Here are some tips to help you navigate faith and culture when you’re dating:
If you’re dating, it’s okay to say upfront what your boundaries or beliefs are – whether that’s waiting for a serious relationship, not wanting to have sex, or wanting to keep things private from your family. You don’t have to share everything straight away, but being honest early on can help you feel more understood and respected.
If things get more serious, conversations about values, beliefs or family expectations will probably come up. Try to talk openly about what feels important to you and give your partner space to do the same. Even if you’re from similar backgrounds, your views might still be different – and that’s okay.
Whether you’re just getting to know someone or already in a relationship, boundaries matter. These could be around physical affection, time spent together, how public you are, or how much you involve your family. You get to decide what feels right – and your partner should respect that.
You and your partner might come from different places or believe different things, but still value kindness, honesty, or looking after each other’s mental health. Focusing on what you have in common can help you feel more connected and understood.
If dating or relationships bring up stress, guilt or pressure because of your culture or religion, that’s valid. Talking to someone who gets it can make a big difference. That might be a youth worker, a faith leader you trust, or an organisation like Muslim Youth Helpline or Black minds Matter, which offer support with your background in mind.
Dating and relationships can bring up a lot – especially if you feel stuck between different parts of your identity. Make space for your feelings and look after your wellbeing in whatever way works for you. That might be prayer, journaling, time alone, or talking to someone who helps you feel grounded.
Dating while navigating faith, culture or religion can bring up challenges – but it shouldn’t mean hiding parts of who you are. You deserve to feel respected and understood in any relationship. For more on how your background can affect how you feel and how to look after your mental health, check out our guide.
Breakups can be really hard – whether you’re the one ending it or not. It’s normal to feel a mix of emotions, like sadness, confusion, anger, numbness or even relief. You might feel all of these at once. There’s no right way to end a relationship or move on, but there are things that can help.
Sometimes it’s clear a relationship isn’t working. Other times, it’s confusing. Maybe things have changed and don’t feel as good anymore. Maybe you’re about to move away, you’ve developed feelings for someone else, or you just feel different – and aren’t sure why.
If you’re unsure, try writing down how you feel:
Talking to someone you trust – like a friend, sibling or therapist – can also help you make sense of things. If something feels off, they might see it too.
Breaking up with someone is never easy – especially if you care about them and don’t want to hurt their feelings. You might feel nervous, sad, or even guilty. That’s completely normal. Ending a relationship doesn’t mean you’re a bad person. It just means something isn’t working for you – and it’s okay to do what’s right for your wellbeing. But it’s still important to think about the other person’s wellbeing too. There’s no perfect way to break up with someone, but here are some things that can help you do it with kindness and care:
Try to break the news in a way that respects their feelings. Would you want to hear it by text? In public? Or face-to-face? If you’re worried they might react badly or violently, don’t meet in person. Ask someone to be nearby or end things over message if it’s safer.
You don’t need to list every reason – especially if it’s hurtful. But you should be clear that you’ve made up your mind. Try to use ‘I’ statements that explain your feelings, instead of saying things you don’t like about them. But also avoid giving false hope if you know it’s over.
Choose a time when they can get support from friends and family afterwards. And try not to do it in front of other people or anywhere public where they’ll be embarrassed.
Breakups hurt. But they can also be the start of something better – especially when you put your energy into looking after yourself. There’s no quick fix – but with time, things do get easier. Here are some things you can do to help:
You might want to stay friends later, but give yourself time first. It can help to mute, delete or block them for a bit, especially on social media.
You might feel grief, heartbreak, anger or nothing at all. It’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Talk to friends. Cry. Write it down. Go for a run. Let yourself feel it.
Films make this look romantic, but in real life, it’s usually more painful. If someone broke up with you, respect their choice. If you ended it, it’s okay to feel sad and still know you did the right thing.
It can seem like a good idea in the moment, but often brings more heartache and makes it harder to move on.
Eat, sleep, get fresh air. Don’t make big decisions in the middle of heartbreak – like changing your appearance or rushing into something new.
You’ve got space now to focus on yourself – your goals, your friends, your happiness. It can be hard to embrace this, but try to reframe your break-up as a sense of freedom.
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
A mental health service run by and for lesbians, gay, bisexual, trans and queer people with experience of mental health issues.
Instant web chat service also available (hours vary).
Runs in-person peer support groups in Brighton.
LoveRespect is run by Women's Aid.
It provides a safe, anonymous space, for 14-24 year olds to gain more understanding of healthy and unhealthy relationships.
It offers resources for you and your friends if you’re experiencing domestic abuse, including identifying abuse, isolation, asking adults for help, mental health impacts, and more.
Provides faith and culturally sensitive support for young Muslims.
Online chat service available during opening hours.
Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.
This page was reviewed in September 2025.
It was co-created by young people with lived experience of dating and relationships.
We will next review the page in 2028.
YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK – the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.
Please be aware that this form isn’t a mental health support service. If you are in crisis right now and want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.
