Counselling and psychotherapy involve talking about, or exploring through art or other creative methods, your feelings, thoughts, and experiences. Therapy can help your child make sense of what’s going on in their life and find ways of coping when things are hard.
If your child is struggling, it might feel like a big step to decide to reach out to a counsellor or therapist for support. Parents tell us they worry about whether they’ve done something wrong, or whether their child’s counsellor or therapist might blame their parenting.
In fact, lots of children and young people go to counselling or therapy at some point, and for all sorts of reasons. A counsellor or therapist should work with you supportively to think about what’s going on and how you can make things better.
Therapy helped me to gain a better understanding about how I was feeling and it allowed me to learn how to cope with my emotions without getting overwhelmed by them.
How can I get counselling or therapy for my child?
Counselling and therapy can be accessed for free through services like the NHS. You often get this kind of counselling when a professional like a GP makes a referral. Or, depending on where you live, you or your child may be able to self-refer instead. Counselling and therapy can also be accessed privately, which means you pay for the sessions.
As you look into different options, it might help to talk to other parents who have been through the same thing. You can also speak to any friends or family who know about local services. They might be able to advise you about where to get started.
Your child may be able to access counselling or therapy through:
Speaking to your GP is often the first step to accessing counselling or therapy through the NHS. You can usually speak to your GP with or without your child present. Your GP can help by:
- talking through your concerns
- referring your child to a local charity or council-run service, or letting you know what’s available locally
- referring your child to an NHS counselling service, for example through your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) team, which is the NHS mental health service for young people
- Referring your young person to Talking Therapies, which you might also have heard referred to by its previous name, Improving Access to Psychological Therapies (IAPT). They offer free CBT, counselling, and guided self-help for over-18s for common mental health problems like anxiety, depression, OCD, and PTSD. You can also self-refer to Talking Therapies.
Before speaking to a GP, it's helpful to make a note of your concerns, and when you have noticed particularly worrying behaviours or feelings. You can take this with you to the appointment to give them a clear sense of your child’s situation. This will support your request for a referral.
You can find more advice about getting support from the GP in our guide for parents and carers.
Some schools, colleges and universities offer free or low-cost counselling services for students. Talk to your child’s teacher or another member of staff to find out what’s available and ask them to make a referral.
If they do not offer counselling, your child’s school or college can help by:
- referring your child for counselling with the NHS mental health service for young people, known as CAMHS
- sending a note to your GP to support a referral for counselling
Some young people may be reluctant to engage in counselling at school or college, particularly if they’re worried about being judged or leaving lessons to attend. If this is the case, you can explore the timings of the sessions with the school, to see if a change would help your child to feel more comfortable.
If it’s affordable for you, your child can also see a counsellor or therapist privately. When looking for a private therapist, it’s a good idea to:
- get recommendations from people you know and trust
- search for someone who is trained or experienced in working specifically with your child’s age group or with their specific concerns
- ask the therapist to explain how they work and to tell you what their qualifications are
- request a consultation so your child can see if the therapist is a good fit - some therapists offer free initial sessions so you can make sure they’re right for your child
- check if the therapist offers reduced prices for those who are unemployed or on a low income, if this applies to you
- confirm the cost and likely length of therapy before your child starts seeing them
It’s also very important to make sure that the private therapist or counsellor is fully qualified, so that the support your child gets is helpful and safe. You can use these websites to find qualified therapists who are registered with a professional body:
- The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP)
- The UK Council for Psychotherapy (UKCP)
- The Counselling Directory
- The British Association for Behavioural & Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP) – for cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
- The Black, African and Asian Therapy Network (BAATN) – to find therapists from Black, African or Asian backgrounds
- The Muslim Counsellor and Psychotherapist Network - to find Muslim counsellors and psychotherapists
- Pink Therapy – for therapists with experience working with LGBTQ+ people
- The British Association of Art Therapists (BAAT) - for accredited art therapists
Online or phone counselling can be a great way for young people to try out therapy and get some short-term support. This might also help them feel more ready to talk to someone face-to-face.
This kind of counselling doesn’t work for everyone, but may be a good way into longer-term support.
- Your local authority website might have details of organisations offering short-term or online counselling in your area. Find your local council website.
- Many private counsellors and therapists also offer online sessions, so it’s worth asking if this is an option when you get in touch.
I spoke to other parents about this topic and those who worked in mental health. I asked them what help they thought I needed. It’s always good to open the conversations up and talk to other parents and mental health professionals.
Finding the right support for your child
You or your child might feel worried about whether the counsellor or therapist they’re offered is right for them. This might be a particular concern if you’re worried about discrimination, or about the therapist not understanding part of your child’s identity.
There are lots of reasons you or your child might be nervous or uneasy about seeing a counsellor or therapist:
- being judged
- being misunderstood
- having to explain or justify your/their beliefs
- having to explain or justify your/their culture
- being told your/their way of life isn’t right
- feeling worse as a result.
It’s important to remember that mental health professionals are trained to be non-judgemental and open-minded. Your child's counsellor should focus on understanding their experience and perspective, and should not make assumptions. But every individual therapist or counsellor is different.
Some counsellors or therapists will share your child's background or have lots of experience working with young people who are like them. This might help your child feel more comfortable and understood.
Unfortunately, you don’t always get much choice when seeking a counsellor or therapist through the NHS, but if your child would find it easier to talk to someone from their background it’s worth asking if this is possible.
If private counselling and therapy is an affordable option for you, you’ll have more choice. If you'd like to, you can choose someone who is from the same background as your child or who specialises in issues related to identity.
Common types of talking therapies
There are lots of different kinds of therapy, and it can be confusing to know which one is right for you.
What works for one person might not work for another, so it’s worth doing your research and thinking carefully about what your child needs and what they feel most comfortable with.
Some common forms of therapy include:
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Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT)
This can help someone understand how they think about things, and to challenge beliefs and behaviours that aren’t helping them. A course of CBT normally lasts between 12 and 20 sessions.
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Interpersonal therapy (IPT)
This can help someone understand and address problems in their relationships. It’s normally recommended for people struggling with depression and relationship difficulties, and a course normally lasts between 12 and 16 sessions.
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Art, music, drama and play therapies
These can help people express difficult feelings creatively and find safe ways of exploring what’s going on. These types of therapy are sometimes offered in schools, and can also be accessed privately.
Talking to your child about counselling and therapy
Your child may feel worried or unsure about speaking to a counsellor. It can feel like a big step to open up, they might not know what to expect, or they could be worried about what other people will think.
If your child wants to find out more about counselling and therapy themselves, they can have a look at our guide for young people.
If it’s been difficult to start a conversation about trying a session, other parents have found that these things can help:
It might help to do this while walking or doing an activity, which can feel more relaxed and less like a ‘big chat’. You can find our activity ideas on our guide to starting a conversation.
Reassure them that it helps some people feel better, and that it’s okay to give it a try and then stop if it doesn’t feel right.
You can let them know that they’re not on their own in having a difficult time and needing some extra help, and that lots of young people go to counselling. You might also reassure them that how they’re feeling is really understandable. If you feel comfortable sharing your experiences, you could tell them that you've also gone through periods of feeling down or worried and needing support too.
Having a few days to think it through on their own might help it feel less overwhelming. Check in to see how they’re feeling a few days later, and don’t give up on the idea just because their first reaction is uncertainty.
They might feel more comfortable and safe if they know they're in control of who they're talking to.
If your child is struggling to access in-person therapy and they are a teenager, consider whether they might find it easier to speak online. Some young people feel more comfortable talking in this way.
Supporting your child during counselling or therapy
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Let them know you’re still there for them whenever they need to talk
When they do open up, focus on listening, showing empathy, and being curious about what it’s like for them rather than trying to ‘fix’ things.
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Give them practical support if they need it
If your child feels uncomfortable about going to sessions on their own, for example, offer to go with them and wait outside.
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Try not to take it personally if your child finds it easier to open up to a counsellor or therapist
Remember that it’s healthy for young people to speak to an adult who isn’t in the family, and who has some emotional distance from the situation.
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Be supportive about new coping strategies
This may be particularly important if your child is having CBT, which tends to focus on learning and trying new techniques.
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Don’t give up if your child doesn’t like the first counsellor they see.
Like everyone in their life, young people will feel more comfortable with some therapists than others. Different personalities will suit different people. If they don’t like the first therapist they see, try looking for someone else.
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If your child is on a waiting list for counselling and therapy, try some practical strategies together
You can find lots of tips for specific feelings and conditions, such as anxiety, depression and self-harm, on our website. Keep communication as open as you can and make time for doing fun activities that give them a break.
The first session was the scariest, I had so many questions racing through my mind: would I get along with my therapist? Could she really talk to me without judgement? Am I in control of the session? The answer to all of these was yes! The first step into therapy is often the hardest but, for me, it was the most rewarding.
If you are unhappy with your child’s counsellor or therapist
- Speak to your service provider to talk through your concerns. If things don’t improve, ask if they can see a different counsellor, or look for a different therapist if they are seeing someone privately.
- If your child thinks that an NHS counsellor or therapist has treated them unfairly, they or you are entitled to make a complaint. If you're concerned but don't want to make a formal complaint, speak to the clinician treating your child. You can also contact your PALS (patient advice liaison service) at your local hospital for confidential advice and support.
- If you want to make a formal complaint, check the process. Every NHS organisation has its own process, but they must all follow the same rules. If you can't see it online, call or email the complaints department.
- If your child is seeing a counsellor or therapist outside of the NHS and you want to make a complaint, speak to the service provider and ask to see their complaints policy.
- If your child is seeing a private counsellor or therapist, you can speak to the professional body they are accredited with and ask to see their complaints policy.
Finding the right counsellor is key, and don’t worry about offending a counsellor by saying they’re not the right one – they always understand. Well, they should anyway!
Looking after yourself
Supporting your child when they are struggling and trying to find them the right help can be worrying and exhausting. Your needs can end up taking a back seat.
Take time when you can to check in with yourself. Think about ways you can take care of yourself as well as your child. Remember that it’s okay to ask for help when you need it, and to share your worries with someone you trust.
This could be talking to friends, attending a peer support group, or talking to a professional yourself. Many parents find it helpful to reach out to other parents, so they can talk through how they have handled difficult situations.
You can connect with other parents by:
- using the Charlie Waller parent support network to see if there’s a local parent support group in your area
- accessing peer and group parent support through Parenting Mental Health
- joining Facebook or other online groups
- setting up your own parent support group using our guide.
Be kind and honest with yourself.
Useful helplines and websites
While we take care to ensure that the organisations we signpost to provide high quality information and advice, we cannot take responsibility for any specific pieces of advice they may offer. We encourage parents and carers to always explore the website of a linked service or organisation to understand who they are and what support they offer before engaging with them.
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YoungMinds Parents Helpline
We support parents and carers who are concerned about their child or young person's mental health. Our Parents Helpline provides detailed advice and information, emotional support and signposting.
You can speak to us over the phone or chat to us online.
You can speak to us over webchat between 9.30am and 4pm from Monday-Friday. When we’re closed, you can still leave us a message in the chat. We’ll reply to you by email in 3-5 working days.
- Opening times:
- 9.30am-4pm, Monday-Friday
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Youth Access
Provides information about local counselling and advice services for young people aged 11-25.
Put in your location and what you need help with into their 'Find help' search, and see what services are available in your area.
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Black Minds Matter
Connects Black individuals and families with free professional mental health services across the UK.
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Parenting Mental Health
Digital support community and charity offering information, peer support, facilitated listening circles, mentoring and courses for parents of children with mental health difficulties.
Founder Suzanne Alderson’s book Never Let Go - How to Parent Your Child Through Mental Illness (Penguin, 2020) outlines how she supported her daughter to recovery after she became depressed and suicidal.
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Muslim Youth Helpline
Provides faith and culturally sensitive support for young Muslims.
Online chat service available during opening hours.
- Opening times:
- 4pm - 10pm, 365 days a year
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Childline
If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.
Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.
Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.
Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.
- Opening times:
- 24/7
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Tellmi
Formerly known as MeeToo. A free app for teenagers (11+) providing resources and a fully-moderated community where you can share your problems, get support and help other people too.
Can be downloaded from Google Play or App Store.
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Mind
Offers advocacy services, as well as information and signposting on mental health difficulties, via the Mind Infoline.
Also hosts Side by Side, an online community for those aged 18 and over to connect with others who are going through, or have been through, similar experiences.
- Opening times:
- 9am - 6pm, Monday to Friday (except for bank holidays)
This page was reviewed in August 2024.
It was created with parents and carers with lived experience of supporting their child or young person around counselling and therapy.
We will next review the page in 2027.
YoungMinds is a proud member of PIF TICK – the UK's quality mark for trusted health information.
Whether you love the page or think something is missing, we appreciate your feedback. It all helps us to support more young people with their mental health.
Please be aware that this form isn’t a mental health support service. If your child is in crisis right now and you want to talk to someone urgently, find out who to contact on our urgent help page.
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