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A young Black woman, young Black man and young white man, all sitting on a bench outside, looking at something on a phone and laughing.

Alone, lonely or misunderstood

Feeling lonely or misunderstood is something many of us experience at times. It can be isolating. But we're here for you. Our tips and advice are designed to help you navigate these feelings and find ways to feel more connected and understood.

Everyone wants to feel connected, understood and accepted. But when that doesn’t happen, it can feel lonely – even if you’re surrounded by people.

Loneliness and being alone aren’t the same thing. You can be on your own and feel completely fine, even enjoy it. And you can be around lots of people and still feel lonely, especially if it feels like no one really gets you, or your relationships don’t feel meaningful.

Everyone’s different, and it’s okay to want more time alone or fewer friendships. What matters is how you feel.

If being alone is starting to feel isolating, or if feeling misunderstood is getting you down, we have tips that might help.

Things you can try to feel less alone

Feeling lonely is a normal part of life and can happen for lots of different reasons. But if it’s making you feel low, there are things that can help. Here are some ideas you could try:

Building meaningful relationships can be hard, but finding people who share your interests can help. Try joining a club, class or local group. It might feel scary at first, especially if people already know each other, but it can be a great way to meet like-minded people and do something you enjoy.

If meeting people in person feels too much right now, you could look online for communities or groups that match your interests. Social media can be a good place to start when you’re looking for people who understand how you feel.

Volunteering is another great way to connect with others and make a difference. You’ll meet people who care about similar things, and it might boost your confidence too. Vinspired has listings of opportunities for young people across the UK.

Trying out new hobbies or activities can help you feel good and meet new people. You could try writing, sports, music, art, or anything else that sounds interesting. Follow what you love – there are communities out there who share your passions.

Find ways to show the world who you are, even if the people around you don’t always get it. You could do this through fashion, music, dance, art, or any creative outlet that feels right to you.

Spending time on your own can feel tough, especially if you’re feeling low. But doing things just for yourself – like reading, watching your favourite shows, or resting – can help you feel more grounded and build your confidence. You deserve kindness from yourself too. Get more tips in our guide to self-care.

Opening up about loneliness can feel hard, but you're not alone – lots of people have felt the same way. Talking to someone you trust, like a family member, friend, teacher or faith leader, can really help. If you’re not sure how to start, we have tips on reaching out for help.

If you’re struggling, you could also speak to your GP. They’ll listen and help you find local services, groups or treatments that could support you.

Journaling how you feel each day can help you notice patterns and understand what might be affecting your mood. Looking back can also show you how far you’ve come.

 

If you’re feeling lonely, it’s hard to reach out to people who get what you’re going through. Social media can help you find groups or communities of people who feel the same way.

Advice on social media

  • Social media is a great way to connect with friends, stay informed, and follow trends. But it can also make you feel more lonely.

    Even if you have a lots of friends and feel happy in your life, it's easy to compare yourself to others, like influencers or people with "picture-perfect" lives online. But remember that people don’t always post what’s really going on in their lives.

    If social media helps you to feel less lonely, that’s great. But if it’s making you feel worse, our social media and mental health guide might help.

Guide to social media and mental health

What to do if you feel like people don't get you

Everyone experiences the world in their own way. Things like talking to friends, busy spaces or coping with change can feel different for everyone.

When people don’t understand what you’re going through or think you’re just being difficult, that can feel really isolating. But your feelings and opinions matter. Try and reach out to people you trust about how you’re feeling so they can understand you and help. Here are some guides and advice that might help.

If you’re neurodivergent, this can change the way you see and interact with the world. And if you’re Disabled, you might find people don’t get your experiences sometimes. These guides can support you.

During your life, you might think about and explore your gender and sexuality. This can happen at any time and it’s normal to explore different parts of yourself. If people around you don’t understand this or start to treat you differently for it, that can have an impact on your mental health. But it’s important to be true to who you are and express yourself in the way that feels right to you. We have advice in our guides.

If you spend time with people of a different race, religion or cultural identity, it can be easy to feel like they don’t get you, or like you have to explain parts of yourself to others. This can be tough, but lots of young people have this experience, and there will be people out there who do get you. Advice in our guides might help.

Discrimination is never okay

If people are saying or doing things to you because of your race, religion, gender, sexuality or disability, this is discrimination and it is never okay.

If you’re being discriminated against, talk to someone who can help you get the help you need and stop what’s happening. No one should ever be treated differently because of who they are.

Play Video: Moulded a space Moulded a space

Aisha's story

Moulded a space is a spoken word poem by Aisha about growing up queer in a Muslim household, where mental health wasn’t something you talked about.

Aisha shares their experience of realising they were a lesbian while dealing with anxiety and depression, and how hard it was to feel accepted – either by the Muslim community or the LGBTQ+ community.

Despite the pressure to let go of their faith because of their sexuality, Aisha held on to Islam in their own way.

What to do if you're struggling with family and friends

Families can be complicated, and they have a big impact on your mental health. When family relationships get tough, life can feel really hard.

Friends can also be a great source of support for your mental health, but sometimes things don’t go so smoothly. You might find that you’re not getting along, or that you don’t feel comfortable in your friendship group anymore.

If you’re finding any of your relationships hard, our advice can help.

A young person hugging their friend to show support.

Grief and loss

If someone in your life has died, even if you had a challenging relationship, it’s normal to feel low or angry. If you’re finding it tough, we have advice that can help with what you’re going through.

Guide to grief and loss

What to do if you feel alone at school or university

School and university can both be fun, but they can also feel really tough sometimes. In school, you might feel like others are doing fine while you’re struggling, or maybe you’re always getting into trouble or having problems with friends.

At university, things can feel overwhelming too, especially if it’s your first time living away from home, you don’t like your course, or you're finding it hard to make new friends.

If you’re having a hard time, there are people who can help, like your teacher, tutor, student welfare officer, or counselling service. We also have guides and advice to support you.

Our real stories from young people like you have lots of helpful tips about looking after your mental health at school or uni.

A group of three young people laugh and chat while sitting on the ground beside a tree in the park.
I wish I had understood that school is not the only chance of making friends and that there would be other opportunities to make friends. Friendships change and people grow apart and that is okay – especially when you are young and growing and finding out about yourself and what you like and what you want to be.
Hannah, 20
What I learnt when I lost a friendship

What to do if you're feeling really low

When you feel people are judging or misunderstanding you, it can make you feel a lot of horrible emotions. At times like these, it can be easy to blame yourself or think you don’t deserve to be happy in who you are. When you’re in that mindset, it’s easy to spiral and get stuck in these negative thoughts. You might hide yourself away or close yourself off to people.

If these negative thoughts feel too much and you can’t get away from that feeling, you might be struggling with low self-esteem or depression. If you’re feeling these negative thoughts are taking over and you’ve hit rock bottom, it’s important to get help now.

Whatever you’re feeling, we have advice that can help.

If you're not sure where to turn to for help right now, these services can support you.

  • Samaritans

    Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.

    Opening times:
    24/7
    Samaritans

  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    24/7
    Childline

  • Papyrus

    Offers confidential advice and support for young people struggling with suicidal thoughts, as well as family and friends; and information about how to make a safety plan.

    Its helpline service - HOPELINE247 - is available to anybody under the age of 35 experiencing suicidal thoughts, or anybody concerned that a young person could be thinking of suicide.

    Opening times:
    24/7 every day of the year
    Papyrus
Play Video: You matter You matter

Remember: you matter

Here's a reminder that you are loved.

Video description: Charis is a Black young person wearing a black t-shirt and glasses. They are in a room with plants and books and are sharing a message in British Sign Language. The message is 'Oh hi, here’s a reminder in case you don’t believe this. You matter, you are important, you’re loved and you living on this earth right now makes a difference whether you see it or not. Every morning, remind yourself of this ok.'

30 second watch

Real stories from young people like you

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