A girl with curly hair sits with her hand on her chin thinking, while a boy sits beside her wearing a grey jacket.

Down and unable to cope

Lots of things can make you feel down and unable to cope. It could be something that's happening in your life right now, a mental health condition, or a difficult experience you've had. Sometimes you know why, but other times it’s just a feeling you can’t shake.

When you’re feeling low, overwhelmed or stressed, even everyday things like seeing friends or getting dressed can feel hard. You might find that things you usually enjoy don't give you the same boost.

It’s tough, but there are ways to feel better. Whatever you're feeling, we’re here to help you explore why you might be feeling this way, and figure out what to do next.

I’m having negative thoughts about myself

Negative thoughts are those harsh, unkind things you tell yourself, like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘nobody cares about me’. They can show up when you’re stressed, feeling stuck, or comparing yourself to others.

It’s tough when you don’t feel good about yourself, whether it’s how you look, feel or behave. You might start thinking everything is your fault, or that you don’t deserve to feel good – but that’s not true. We all experience negative thoughts from time to time, but if they’re starting to take over, it’s time to get support. You deserve to feel comfortable with who you are and believe in yourself.

Here are some things that can help.

Doing this activity forced me to really think about myself in a positive way, and it also forced me to see how damaging my focus can be.
It's important to recognise when we need to ask for forgiveness from others, but equally, we need to learn to forgive ourselves. Often, that’s the hardest thing to do.

I’m struggling to look after myself

We all have things we need to do to look after ourselves, like getting enough sleep, eating well and personal hygiene. They can make us feel better and ready for whatever life throws at us.

But, when you’re feeling low, even the most basic tasks can feel impossible. Struggling with self-care isn’t your fault and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of us have times when it all feels too much.

Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself the best you can.

I feel stuck

Feeling stuck can happen for so many reasons. Maybe your living situation isn’t great, you’re stressed about money, or you don’t feel supported by the people around you. Maybe you’re feeling pressured to hide who you are, or perhaps you’re dealing with grief or trauma, making every day feel like a struggle. Sometimes, it can feel like you’ve tried everything to feel better, but nothing seems to work. It’s easy to feel like things will never change, but they can. There are things you can try to help clear your head and shift your focus. Here are some ideas to get you started.

This time, instead of seeing myself as someone who needed to be fixed, and searching desperately for someone or something to solve my problems, I started seeing an opportunity for me to use the difficult experiences I’ve had for good.
Kery, 18
I want to speak or reach out, but my mind is blank and I just can’t think of anything to say. Or I can’t understand why people would want to spend time with me, so don’t take that step.
Rachel, 25

I feel out of control

Life can throw a lot at you. Whether it’s pressure from schoolfamily dramasocial media, or just feeling like you can’t keep up – when things start piling up, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing control.

When things feel like they’re spiralling, it helps to have some go-to strategies to calm your mind and body. Below are a few simple ways to cope. Start with what feels easiest and build up from there.

I’m having unusual experiences

Sometimes, when life feels really overwhelming, you might start hearing, seeing or believing things that others don’t. This could be a sign of something like psychosis, mania or hypomania, or bipolar disorder.

You might:

  • hear or see things other people don’t
  • feel like your thoughts aren’t your own
  • believe things that others say aren’t real
  • have extreme mood swings or bursts of energy
  • feel urges to hurt yourself or others

This can feel scary or confusing. But you’re not alone, and there is support. If any of this sounds familiar, talk to someone you trust, speak to your GP, or reach out to a helpline.

I’m struggling with a mental health condition

Having a mental health condition can make getting on with life really tough. But remember, feeling better in yourself and good about life again is possible, even though it might not always feel that way.

If a mental health problem is making you feel down, read our guides below for tips and advice, or browse our A-Z for a different mental health condition.

A-Z of mental health conditions

Something traumatic has happened or is happening

Whether it’s from the past or happening now, trauma can have a lasting impact on your mental health. It can affect your mood, how you see yourself, and how you connect with others. Whatever you’ve been through, you deserve support. And our guides can help.

Things you can do to feel better

When you’re feeling down or overwhelmed, it can seem impossible to get things back on track. But there are practical steps you can take to feel better again. You don’t need to fix everything all at once – just focus on one thing at a time, and slowly, you’ll start to feel more balanced. Here are some steps you can try:

A girl laughing while walking in the park.
It is important in these moments not to make the situation worse by branding yourself weak – the last straw is often not the real cause. Looking after yourself in these moments takes immense courage and strength.

When to ask for help

Sometimes, even after trying different ways to cope, things can still feel too much. That's okay. Knowing when to ask for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Here are some signs it might be time to reach out:

  • you’re constantly feeling overwhelmed and nothing helps
  • your mood or stress levels are affecting your sleep, relationships, or focus
  • you feel isolated, hopeless, or like things won’t get better
  • you’re taking drugs or drinking alcohol to cope
  • you’re self-harming or thinking about self-harming
  • you’re performing rituals over and over again because they make you feel safe and you experience extreme anxiety if you don’t do them (this can be a sign of OCD)
  • your eating habits have changed (like eating loads or limiting what you eat)
  • you’re over-exercising

If you're experiencing any of these, talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or teacher. If you don't know who to speak to, contact a helpline for support.

Get more advice on reaching out for help

Urgent help

  • Sometimes, life gets so overwhelming that you might feel like you can't cope at all. When that happens, don't wait. Reach out for help right away.

    If you feel unsafe or like you might hurt yourself, go to your nearest A&E or call 999.

Get help now

  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    24/7
  • Hub of Hope

    A national database of mental health charities and organisations across Britain that offer mental health advice, including for family members.

  • Samaritans

    Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.

    Opening times:
    24/7