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Down and unable to cope

We all go through times when we feel low and not ourselves. And when it’s all getting a bit much, life can feel hard to deal with. If you’re going through it right now, we’ve got tips and advice to help you get back on track.

Lots of things can make you feel down and unable to cope. It could be something that's happening in your life right now, a mental health condition, or a difficult experience you've had. Sometimes you know why, but other times it’s just a feeling you can’t shake.

When you’re feeling low, overwhelmed or stressed, even everyday things like seeing friends or getting dressed can feel hard. You might find that things you usually enjoy don't give you the same boost.

It’s tough, but there are ways to feel better. Whatever you're feeling, we’re here to help you explore why you might be feeling this way, and figure out what to do next.

I’m having negative thoughts about myself

Negative thoughts are those harsh, unkind things you tell yourself, like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘nobody cares about me’. They can show up when you’re stressed, feeling stuck, or comparing yourself to others.

It’s tough when you don’t feel good about yourself, whether it’s how you look, feel or behave. You might start thinking everything is your fault, or that you don’t deserve to feel good – but that’s not true. We all experience negative thoughts from time to time, but if they’re starting to take over, it’s time to get support. You deserve to feel comfortable with who you are and believe in yourself.

Here are some things that can help.

The NHS guide to reframing unhelpful thoughts helps you ‘catch it, check it, change it’. It has practical tips for reflecting and changing thoughts into something more positive.

Read the NHS guide to reframing unhelpful thoughts

Our guide on self-esteem has lots of tips, real stories and advice to help you think more positively about yourself.

Read our guide to self-esteem

Talking therapies can help you deal with negative thoughts. You can speak to your GP and they can refer you. Take a look at our counselling and therapy guide for more on how to access therapy.

Find out more about counselling and therapy
Doing this activity forced me to really think about myself in a positive way, and it also forced me to see how damaging my focus can be.
Read Kerry’s blog on how she learnt to focus on the positives
It's important to recognise when we need to ask for forgiveness from others, but equally, we need to learn to forgive ourselves. Often, that’s the hardest thing to do.
Our bloggers share their tips for coping with making mistakes

I’m struggling to look after myself

We all have things we need to do to look after ourselves, like getting enough sleep, eating well and personal hygiene. They can make us feel better and ready for whatever life throws at us.

But, when you’re feeling low, even the most basic tasks can feel impossible. Struggling with self-care isn’t your fault and it’s nothing to be ashamed of. Lots of us have times when it all feels too much.

Here are some tips to help you take care of yourself the best you can.

Think about who you feel comfortable reaching out to. They could help with chores, check if you’ve washed, drunk water or got some fresh air, or simply listen to you. If reaching out to someone doesn’t feel right, contact a helpline to speak with a trained professional.

This makes tasks feel less overwhelming. Here’s how our blogger Luca broke down the task of washing their clothes when they had depression:

  1. Take my clothes out of the basket and sort them.
  2. Put them in the washing machine and start the wash.
  3. Take my clothes out and put them to one side.
  4. Set up the clothes drying rack.
  5. Hang the washed clothes on the drying rack.
  6. Once dry, take them off and fold.
  7. Put my clothes away into wardrobe/draws.

There are also ways to make tasks more accessible for you, like listening to music, sitting down or writing the task down.

Read more self-care tips for depression from Luca

There are apps that help you break tasks down, set reminders and find ways to boost your mood. Like Move Mood, Plant Nanny and Aloe Bud. The notes app on your phone is another great tool for journalling and tracking your mood.

Lorna shares more tips in her blog on taking care of yourself when things feel difficult.

How to do self-care when you're really struggling

Real stories about looking after yourself

I feel stuck

Feeling stuck can happen for so many reasons. Maybe your living situation isn’t great, you’re stressed about money, or you don’t feel supported by the people around you. Maybe you’re feeling pressured to hide who you are, or perhaps you’re dealing with grief or trauma, making every day feel like a struggle. Sometimes, it can feel like you’ve tried everything to feel better, but nothing seems to work. It’s easy to feel like things will never change, but they can. There are things you can try to help clear your head and shift your focus. Here are some ideas to get you started.

Take a moment to think about what might be causing that ‘stuck’ feeling. Are there emotions you’re trying to avoid or issues you’re not sure how to handle? Understanding what’s behind it can help you figure out what you need. If you think you know what’s causing the problem, our guides offer advice that’s specific to your situation.

Find help for a specific problem

If you’re sure how you’re feeling or just want to process things, getting your thoughts out can really help. You could write them down like a diary, poem, or song lyrics. Or express yourself in other ways, like drawing. Keeping a journal is a great way to make sense of what’s on your mind.

When everything else in life doesn’t go right and it all feels a bit hopeless, I open up my laptop, or my sketchbook, or my craft draw. I write whatever comes to my mind.
Laura

When your head feels full and busy, it’s hard to think clearly. Mindfulness can help you feel calmer. There are lots of free apps, like Calm or Headspace. You can also check out mindfulness videos online, like this one:

Play Video: Mindfulness breathing Mindfulness breathing

Trying something new can be a great way to get out of your head, meet people, and focus on something different. Whether it’s a hobby, joining a club, or volunteering, it’s worth seeing what’s near you.

A young Black man smiling in the park.
I’ve met other talented creatives, created a community around my work and have been given opportunities I wouldn’t have thought were possible back when I was struggling with my mental health. So the best thing I did for my mental health was picking up a camera and becoming a photographer.
Theo, 20
The best thing I've done for my mental health
This time, instead of seeing myself as someone who needed to be fixed, and searching desperately for someone or something to solve my problems, I started seeing an opportunity for me to use the difficult experiences I’ve had for good.
Kery, 18
The importance of finding purpose
I want to speak or reach out, but my mind is blank and I just can’t think of anything to say. Or I can’t understand why people would want to spend time with me, so don’t take that step.
Rachel, 25
Radio silence: reaching out after a period of isolation

I feel out of control

Life can throw a lot at you. Whether it’s pressure from school, family drama, social media, or just feeling like you can’t keep up – when things start piling up, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing control.

When things feel like they’re spiralling, it helps to have some go-to strategies to calm your mind and body. Below are a few simple ways to cope. Start with what feels easiest and build up from there.

Try a quick breathing exercise, like inhaling for four seconds, holding for four, and exhaling for four. This can help slow your heart rate and clear your head.

Focus on your surroundings. What can you see, hear, and feel right now? This can help bring you back to the present moment.

Physical activity, even a short walk or some stretches, can release built-up tension and boost your mood.

Do something you enjoy, like drawing, listening to music, or playing a game. Healthy distractions can give your mind a break from stress.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed by everything you need to do, try breaking big tasks into smaller, manageable steps. Focus on one thing at a time instead of trying to tackle everything at once.

If people or situations are draining you, it’s okay to set boundaries. Saying "no" sometimes or stepping back can protect your energy.

I’m having unusual experiences

Sometimes, when life feels really overwhelming, you might start hearing, seeing or believing things that others don’t. This could be a sign of something like psychosis, mania or hypomania, or bipolar disorder.

You might:

  • hear or see things other people don’t
  • feel like your thoughts aren’t your own
  • believe things that others say aren’t real
  • have extreme mood swings or bursts of energy
  • feel urges to hurt yourself or others

This can feel scary or confusing. But you’re not alone, and there is support. If any of this sounds familiar, talk to someone you trust, speak to your GP, or reach out to a helpline.

Real stories about regaining control

I’m struggling with a mental health condition

Having a mental health condition can make getting on with life really tough. But remember, feeling better in yourself and good about life again is possible, even though it might not always feel that way.

If a mental health problem is making you feel down, read our guides below for tips and advice, or browse our A-Z for a different mental health condition.

A-Z of mental health conditions

Real stories about mental health conditions

Something traumatic has happened or is happening

Whether it’s from the past or happening now, trauma can have a lasting impact on your mental health. It can affect your mood, how you see yourself, and how you connect with others. Whatever you’ve been through, you deserve support. And our guides can help.

Real stories about trauma and abuse

Things you can do to feel better

When you’re feeling down or overwhelmed, it can seem impossible to get things back on track. But there are practical steps you can take to feel better again. You don’t need to fix everything all at once – just focus on one thing at a time, and slowly, you’ll start to feel more balanced. Here are some steps you can try:

Opening up can be tough, but talking to someone you trust is a great first step. Not sure how to start? Check out our tips on asking for help.

Your mental health matters as much as your physical health. If you’re struggling, your GP can help you access local support. Here’s how to talk to your doctor about mental health.

However you’re feeling, therapy and counselling can be a huge help. A therapist or counsellor can work with you to figure out what’s really going on, so you can start feeling more confident and excited about life again.

For more information on getting therapy and counselling, take a look at our guides and advice from young people.

Make time for what makes you happy – whether it’s walking, arts and crafts, or your favourite video game. Anything that calms your mind and makes you feel safe. Find more tips and advice in our guide to self-care.

Structure can help calm the chaos. Set small goals for your day. Even basic things like getting out of bed at the same time, eating meals, or having a bedtime routine can make a difference.

A cluttered space can make your mind feel cluttered too. Tidying up your room or workspace can give you a sense of control over your environment.

Constant notifications or social media scrolling can add to your stress. Take breaks from your phone or set time limits for apps that make you feel drained. Get more advice in our social media guide.

Take a few minutes each day to be mindful or meditate. Focus on your breathing, observe your thoughts without judgment, and try to be present in the moment.

A girl laughing while walking in the park.
It is important in these moments not to make the situation worse by branding yourself weak – the last straw is often not the real cause. Looking after yourself in these moments takes immense courage and strength.
Our bloggers share their coping strategies for anyone feeling overwhelmed and unable to cope

When to ask for help

Sometimes, even after trying different ways to cope, things can still feel too much. That's okay. Knowing when to ask for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. Here are some signs it might be time to reach out:

  • you’re constantly feeling overwhelmed and nothing helps
  • your mood or stress levels are affecting your sleep, relationships, or focus
  • you feel isolated, hopeless, or like things won’t get better
  • you’re taking drugs or drinking alcohol to cope
  • you’re self-harming or thinking about self-harming
  • you’re performing rituals over and over again because they make you feel safe and you experience extreme anxiety if you don’t do them (this can be a sign of OCD)
  • your eating habits have changed (like eating loads or limiting what you eat)
  • you’re over-exercising

If you're experiencing any of these, talk to someone you trust, like a friend, family member, or teacher. If you don't know who to speak to, contact a helpline for support.

Get more advice on reaching out for help

Urgent help

  • Sometimes, life gets so overwhelming that you might feel like you can't cope at all. When that happens, don't wait. Reach out for help right away.

    If you feel unsafe or like you might hurt yourself, go to your nearest A&E or call 999.

I need urgent help

Get help now

  • Childline

    If you’re under 19 you can confidentially call, chat online or email about any problem big or small.

    Sign up for a free Childline locker (real name or email address not needed) to use their free 1-2-1 counsellor chat and email support service.

    Can provide a BSL interpreter if you are deaf or hearing-impaired.

    Hosts online message boards where you can share your experiences, have fun and get support from other young people in similar situations.

    Opening times:
    24/7
    Childline

  • Hub of Hope

    A national database of mental health charities and organisations across Britain that offer mental health advice, including for family members.

    Hub of Hope

  • Samaritans

    Whatever you're going through, you can contact the Samaritans for support. N.B. This is a listening service and does not offer advice or intervention.

    Opening times:
    24/7
    Samaritans

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